• Baby Shoggoth [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    Also sometimes you don’t get rejected and instead get dragged into a 6 year long abusive relationship with someone with both borderline and narcissistic personality disorder and you end up with ptsd.

    rejections feel nice after that

  • Emi621@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    Even if I didn’t get rejected I would still be paranoid about it being a prank on me, was asked out as a prank at school.

  • Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    What I read was OP build all this stress in their head for months.

    Then when it reached its breaking point, OP finally did it and then it exploded in their face.

    Gonna recommend not doing that.

  • Damage@feddit.it
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    11 months ago

    Try again. The woman I’ve been with for over a decade originally said no as well.

      • Dasnap@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Nah break into her house and raid her underwear drawer, you’ll seem quirky.

      • Damage@feddit.it
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        11 months ago

        Yeah, I just said try again, and not again and again and again either

        • Nepenthe@kbin.social
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          11 months ago

          I have never seen one person who didn’t take the first no, who then proceeded to understand any of the other noes. Them throwing an adult tantrum and promptly leaving is the good ending. Maybe ignoring any answer you don’t like isn’t brilliant advice in general.

          • Damage@feddit.it
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            11 months ago

            Or maybe you could just try and be a human being, not an overly simplistic social algorithm, and try to understand whether there’s actually any realistic chance for that no to become a yes, and how.

            Social interactions are complex and this kind of reddit teenager “wisdom” is completely inadequate.

    • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      This depends entirely on the nature of the, “no”.

      If it’s a shy, non-commital “no”, with zero followup explaining any reasons they don’t want to, then sure maybe another ask is in order.

      If it’s a solid “no”, or they start listing off excuses or reasons after a tepid no… They probably actually don’t want it. It COULD be something like anxiety making them say, “no” and stammer out some weak excusable excuses, but that is rare compared to someone who just wants to politely say no.

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Sometimes it’s better to just get it out there, regardless of the outcome, rather than let that feeling fester within you for years. Or you look back later on in life and think, “I should’ve said something…”, or “Why didn’t I ever…”. It sucks donkey balls getting rejected and you’re probably more likely to get rejected than not, but it’s still something you should do in spite of the odds. Like my hot cousin, I always wonder what might’ve been had I made a move, but I’ll never know and that’ll stay with me for a lifetime now.

      • NotSpez@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Maybe we should ask them to share a picture. It might depend on how hot the cousin is!

    • don@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Minus the cousin bit, I knew of a guy who lived in Washington that did just that, just got it out there. Ken Pinyan, he was a Boeing engineer. Everyone just called him Mr. Hands.