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I’ll counter with random intermittent connection loss.
For real.
Consistently slow? Sucks, but I can deal with it.
Intermittent connection? Guess it’s time for a break.
Gaah, it doesn’t even load the page fully! So annoying!
Respond with Ethernet Connection Shield!
I cast dialup.
I cast piss with boner
I counter with wet fart
Forgot the SI