I need some advice from the internet;
I haven’t been dating for quite a few years now, but I’m finally in a position where I can think about this kind of stuff. I’m a chef that regularly visits my local dispensery after work. Partly because of the cute girl working there with whom I’ve been chatting quite a bit recently. Last week we stood there chatting for over 10 minutes while she left her colleague to help the other customers there. She says her and a friend are coming over to lunch at the place I work at next week. It’s not like she’s been giving me super obvious signs (or I’m just oblivious to them, which I’m not ruling out), but again, she’s super cute.
Is it appropriate for me to ask her out for a drink? I honestly don’t know if I should or not. It does feel kinda weird asking someone out at their place of work and I don’t want to put her in an awkward situation.
A year or two ago, I got really excited about a comic book shop opening in town and got chatty with the owner. I decided to take him up on some drinks and a smoke sesh but we had two different goals in mind; I just wanted friendship (which i made clear to him) and a business I could give money to, he wanted to sleep with me. Things got super uncomfortable and branched into sexual harassment and I can’t go back to the only comic book store in my area now.
Comic book guy’s mistake wasn’t the act of wanting to get to know me or even being attracted to me, it was that I voiced many times that he was making me uncomfortable and i just wanted to be friends until it got to the point where I was worried about my safety around him. If you feel like there’s some connection, i don’t think it’s wrong to say “hey we have some great conversations, would you be comfortable with me giving you my number?”; it’s all up to you to be aware of what signals she’s giving off and how to respect “no” as an answer.
Agreed. A friend asked me out a while back, just like a casual “I like your company, how do you feel about going out together with just us and seeing how it goes”, I said I didn’t feel the same way but enjoyed his company. No more was said and it wasn’t really an issue at all. We remained good friends for a long while after that.
As long as your respectful, just asking is never an issue.
That’s really fucking sad for you. And creepy AF about the owner. You didn’t do anything wrong there, and you didn’t deserve to be put in that stressful situation. ((Hugs))