• mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Mental health and happiness.

    you need men-only environments to be happy?

    also you ask for sex advice at the gym, at the scouts, at the club?

    Your need for gender exclusivity really is on you mate, please don’t act like it’s universal.

    • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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      8 months ago

      Not for gyms no. Uni-sex gyms are the best in my opinion and I would choose then over single sex. More people, more space, more machines, no point having men only gyms because I’m not really having convos and when I do it’s just as likely to be men or women for something causal unless I’m asking people how many sets they got on the bench press.

      I’m fairly certain the hidden secrets of girls who fancies who, and does she like me back all came up in scouts. That’s all part of growing up. I certainly learnt a move or two from the rugby club and people got helped out on issues they were having with girls, finances, school, mental health, fitness, confidence, friendship. The rugby club was the biggest source of positivity I have ever seen in my life. Yet I had more than a few girls who knew nothing about it, never even met rugby players telling me it’s “toxic”

      I was very careful not to use the word universal. If I had to bet I would say confidently way more than 50% of men and boys would benefit from some male only spaces.

      Let me ask, why are you so against men only spaces? Okay you don’t want men only spaces, that I can accept. But why deny that to others, where are people going to go for issues I mentioned?

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Let me ask, why are you so against men only spaces?

        Because it’s a fantastic waste of resources for reasons you either choose not to or cannot articulate lol. Having spent time in gender excluding MOS’s, then spending time in integrated specialties, I realized it was absurd and puritanical in most cases.

        Okay you don’t want men only spaces, that I can accept. But why deny that to others, where are people going to go for issues I mentioned?

        because I don’t want to live in Saudi Arabia or any other country that sexualizes or others gender to the point of building duplicate infrastructure to serve each. It’s wasteful, immature and asinine.

        Frankly, I don’t care about your estimates of how many your wild ass guesses say it would benefit, it’s not going to help society. In society, we all have to live together, there’s no safe spaces we can run away to in order to escape whatever it is you’re afraid of.

        If you start down this road, when the nazis show up at your bar and say “oh we don’t exclude women, we exclude the undermenchen” you should be comfortable knowing you created that situation.

        Now, assholes… man, I wish, oh how I wish, we could just exclude assholes from the public sphere, but I don’t get my wish, and neither should you.

        • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          I would have to disagree that men having access to mental health and help for domestic violence is a waste of resources but I guess we can’t all be cunts. If you can’t see that I guess you’re beyond help.

          Still never answered where guys go for issues.

          As for men only social clubs, well its not a waste of resources because it will pay for itself like it has done in years gone by. There is value in it and it is paid for, that’s how the economy works. Otherwise everything we do that isn’t work or food is a waste of resources.

          I’m absoultely not only about division of sexes I’m on about some small, in certain cases sexual divided areas that woukd improve mental health. But good strawman.

          Well I’m glad you got all the answers to stuff. I guess my conversation with other men are pointless but seeing as you have all the answers and know there is no benefits (eventhough I have first and second hand proof it does).

          If there are no safe spaces let’s close down women only spaces then, they don’t need domestic violence centres, we don’t need prison we don’t need police, not point worry about anything we all need to live together.

          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            I would have to disagree that men having access to mental health and help for domestic violence

            at the mens only hospital, or the men’s only therapy building?

            No one’s trying to take away male access to mental health and help, cute strawman tho. Nothing about those even require the therapists to be gender specific, say nothing about the entire facility.

            you have yet to explain how gender division improves mental health, it’s not a strawman argument at all. you stay you want things, say they’re important to your mental health, then do absolutely nothing to explain how that requires gender exclusive facilities.

            I do love how you jump from “if I can’t get mens only X, women shouldn’t have protection from domestic violence”.

            did you really mean to say that bit aloud?

            Why not just join a men’s footy team? why do you need a men’s only clubhouse? It’s silly mate. Go join a monastery, I think you’d be happier.

            • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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              8 months ago

              at the mens only hospital, or the men’s only therapy building?

              You don’t need a mens only hospital.

              Mens only therapy could be good.

              No one’s trying to take away male access to mental health and help, cute strawman tho.

              Yes they are. The only domestic violence centre in the country got closed by me because women were outside protesting. It got closed down and no one cares because its men.

              Look up domestic violence how its been treated by governments and by feminist groups and your eyes will be opened.

              Nothing about those even require the therapists to be gender specific, say nothing about the entire facility.

              Some therapy doesn’t need to be gender specific. I’m not arguing that, but some does. The fact that people cannot accept male only spaces for anything is the issue. If people need help and feel more comfortable with a male therapist with other men only in the group, for any reason shouldn’t that be allowed?

              I do love how you jump from “if I can’t get mens only X, women shouldn’t have protection from domestic violence”.

              Because out of all this the thing that I really cannot ever get my head around is how no one doubts women needs men only space. But even to suggest that might need the same things, to suggest men need protection from domestic violence then you are sexist, an incel, a Nazi. I don’t deny women should have women only spaces, but what I’m fighting for is men only spaces. You don’t want that don’t go. If that genuinely helps people and makes them happy why do you want to stop someone? Just think about that for a moment, why do you want to deprive someone of health and happiness?

              Why not just join a men’s footy team?

              Some people have dodgy knees, some people are old, some people don’t like sport. Why aren’t those people allowed the same camaraderie that is now only reserved for athletes?

              I know how much support and help I have had in men only environments, how much guidance and growth I’ve had, how much fun I had. From scouts, sports, friends. I’ve also seen how much help other people had, seen people crying and gotten better after it. I know these things first hand and as well as that I have. I also have empathy, I can understand how a young boy with no grandparents and a dead dad, no male teachers in school and no friends might need male only spaces. They need that guidance and support. The truth of the matter is men only groups are different to mixed groups, they just are at least for huge amount of the male population. They have something you don’t have elsewhere. Men and women are just different for most people and that’s perfectly okay. But forcing people to only act a certain way isn’t.

    • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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      8 months ago

      You can run a survey for yourself. Personally I have always longed for male-only spaces, and I say this while most of my friends are female. That’s kinda the point.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Personally I have always longed for male-only spaces,

        Join a monastery then bud, no longer any need for longing.

        society has sorted you out, take it and go instead of inflicting your gender phobias on the taxbase, paying for duplicate infrastructure just because you don’t want to be around women is absurd.

        Or go live in Saudi Arabia already.

        • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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          8 months ago

          Read the whole comment. I don’t have many friends, and all the close ones are women. I can talk with them about many things, but sometimes I end up relying on the only lesbian one among them hoping that she’s “male enough”.

          My comment is anecdotal, of course, you don’t have to believe that many other people have sometimes the need of hanging out only with other men. But even among acquaintances who hang out in couples in a friend circle, it’s habit that some weekend retreats are boys-only, girls-only.

          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            Many women don’t feel empathy towards men. They were never expected to.

            lol you actually believe this?

            I don’t have many friends,

            surprise surprise surprise!

            just a giant bucket of ‘no, really?’ every time you comment.

            • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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              8 months ago

              Replying to multiple comments of mine at the same time looks like a personal attack. But aside from this, I don’t understand what do you want to accomplish.

              lol you actually believe this?

              Yes, and among women I know it’s not done in bad faith. It just takes some patience to get them to care.

              surprise surprise surprise

              What if I told you that I don’t have a car either. How would it be related to anything you know of me?