I’ve heard this communication issue referred to as the XY Problem. Having a phrase for it has helped me to better recognise when it happens and respond as you do in your example.
I’ve heard this communication issue referred to as the XY Problem.
First, thank you for sharing that, it made my teeth grind with frustration. Second, I experience a variation on this that is particularly frustrating. I am a user that knows how to do X. I ask if X needs to be done. Others hear me asking if X needs to be done, and instead of just saying “yes” or “no” they make assumptions about why I’m asking if X needs to be done and instead suggest I do Y instead if I want to do something. I know that X is the appropriate action, what I asked simply if X needed to be done. When I tell them Y wouldn’t accomplish the task, they say, “then you should do X”. Right, thanks. I knew that already. That wasn’t my question. Which brings me right back to my VERY FIRST QUESTION which they could have answered “yes” or “no” with…“yes, X needs to be done”.
This happens moderately often to me and I haven’t developed a method to communicate the idea nicely of “Please, just answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and nothing more” without being rude. Instead I to go through this whole exercise again and again just to be nice to them.
I’ve heard this communication issue referred to as the XY Problem. Having a phrase for it has helped me to better recognise when it happens and respond as you do in your example.
First, thank you for sharing that, it made my teeth grind with frustration. Second, I experience a variation on this that is particularly frustrating. I am a user that knows how to do X. I ask if X needs to be done. Others hear me asking if X needs to be done, and instead of just saying “yes” or “no” they make assumptions about why I’m asking if X needs to be done and instead suggest I do Y instead if I want to do something. I know that X is the appropriate action, what I asked simply if X needed to be done. When I tell them Y wouldn’t accomplish the task, they say, “then you should do X”. Right, thanks. I knew that already. That wasn’t my question. Which brings me right back to my VERY FIRST QUESTION which they could have answered “yes” or “no” with…“yes, X needs to be done”.
This happens moderately often to me and I haven’t developed a method to communicate the idea nicely of “Please, just answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and nothing more” without being rude. Instead I to go through this whole exercise again and again just to be nice to them.