The litmus test of determining if there is bigotry involved is to change the terms in contention. If it is bigoted in one direction, it is fundamentally bigoted in both.

You hit the nail on the head when you posited “if this was a guy doing it to his girlfriend” it would be toxic, manipulative, and abusive.

Let’s make misandry as unacceptable as misogyny. Because true equality will be impossible until we do.