I have been diagnosed with depression and ADD. I feel like a lot of their symptoms partially bleed over into autism. I am also incredibly anxious when it comes to social interactions.

I feel like I have a decent amount of behavioural symptoms like getting upset when plans change, not liking when things are moved from where I put them, some sensory things (ex. the sound of velcro tearing, gloves rubbing against the skin at the base of my fingers, I hate making sound when I walk in public, and so on), self-stimming, getting really invested in certain niche topics, and avoiding eye contact.

There are some parts where I don’t feel like I match at all. I would say I’m better than most people at reading people’s emotions. I am good with social cues and nonverbal communication. I just over think everything afterwards.

Getting help for my depression and ADD was a lot of work and I felt like I essentially had to coach them into giving it to me so I’m just not sure if it would be worth the effort. The only benefit I could see is a better sense of self-identity but I already have a major case of imposter syndrome when it comes to what I’ve been diagnosed with and I feel like that would be even worse with autism due to the stigma that surrounds it. People saying “You don’t have autism because we chitchat all the time at work” would feel like a real kick in the nuts. I have been able to force myself to mask or get over some of the issues I’ve mentioned above so far.

Sorry if any of this seems improper. I really don’t want to sound like someone who took a “What mental illness are you?” Buzzfeed-style quiz as a medical diagnosis or someone making unfair stereotypes.

  • fairchild@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    1·
    21 days ago

    A few thoughts (about my own experiences), maybe it helps…

    I feel like taking the steps it needs to get any diagnosis can be very exhausting as these processes usually take time and a lot of energy, so I get that point. I think the most important question to ask yourself is whether you see any benefit getting a diagnosis.

    I know several people that are very likely on the spectrum but don’t see any value in getting one, so they didn’t and are happy about the way it is.

    It’s also not uncommon to be misdiagnosed or getting a diagnose that doesn’t take into account the whole picture. If you feel like there might be “more” and if you also feel the need to understand youself better, however, I’d recomment trying it - but it is up to you in the end.

    I’ve been diagnosed with a bunch of stuff throughout my life and never felt it was “right”, until I finally found the time and energy to see a specialist again, after which I was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. Now I consider getting a ADHD diagnose as well, and it often feels like a never ending story where I sometimes believe no matter what, I have it all. It’s easy to get lost in symptoms as lines can be blurry.

    To me, the main point is probably trying to understand myself better, and how life events relate to each other.

    Wasn’t too sure about getting a diagnose at first. I also always thought I was good with reading faces and in social situations, but I’m probanly not, just really good in masking to the point I believe it myself. I had an idea of a few autism traits I noticed over the years, which was mainly sensory stuff, so I decided to write down everything that came to mind, reflecting on my life. I took some time reading though it a few times and also read a few books on the topic to help identify more. After a while I thought, yeah let’s just do it. Guess I needed some time to consider everything first.

    I need to admit that I was able to understand how much autism impacted my life only after I got my diagnosis, and it is an ongoing process, but I’m very thankful I am in this situation now. The process of getting the diagnosis and the time after have been pretty rough, but there have been many positive aspects so far. A few social situations are actually a bit harder than before currently but I assume it will change over time.

    I’ve been pretty open about my diagnosis so far and I’ve had very good and very bad reactions as I told people about it. I guess there will always be ableist people, and yes, you might also encounter ableism during the process of trying to get a diagnosis, as I have. To me, such negative reactions are a great sign to know which people to avoid in life, sometimes it’s easier to have a clear answer to that, even though it can be extremely painful and it usually takes a bit of time to fully understand such situations.

    I guess in the end it’s about you and not someone else or someone else’s opinion about you and the way you feel.

    • Corroded@leminal.spaceOPEnglish
      1·
      20 days ago

      Thanks for your response. If you don’t mind me asking what kind of negative reactions did you have regarding your diagnosis?

      Were they dismissive or said it must have been incorrect?

      I can’t really imagine people making jokes when they find out someone is autistic in the way they do when they find out someone isn’t straight

      • fairchild@sopuli.xyzEnglish
        1·
        20 days ago

        I prefer to answer without giving too many details. In general, situations where things just clicked, I had some realizations about my life that were hard to accept. What this boils down to, which also was causing the difficult time after diagnosis, is understanding that I am the way I am and react different in situations than others would or how even I sometimes wish I would.

        Regarding your second question, I experienced both.

        I’m not sure I get your last point. Being on the spectrum or gay/queer isn’t something to make jokes about.