I’m Kazakh and this happened in Kazakhstan.
I can’t even begin to understand how you must have felt and feel now.
I’ve got lots of questions
(1) How did you free yourself/get freed?
(2) Why did he want you?
(3) How did you manage to stay strong?
I have even more questions, but these are the first three that popped into my mind
- He let me go, blindfolded me and dropped me off on the city outskirts. Then I asked someone for help. He said he got everything he wanted out of the experience. Basically got bored. 2. I answered in another reply, but he wanted to own another person, like a pet. 3. I accepted it. Then I even became attached to him. As long as I was good he was good to me too.
most people are familiar with “fight or flight” Acute Stress Responses, but when one neither fighting nor fleeing are viable options, there are other modalities that kick in for the sake of one’s survival.
Namely, Freeze and Fawn: get small, be non-threatening, attempt to appease the assailant.
You did what you had to in order to get through that, and while nonetheless horrific and brutal, the fact that you came out of this alive is a testament to your resiliency. I wish you could get justice… hell I wish you could get vengeance. But I’m just glad you’re still here at all.
You were enslaved.
Thanks, Mr. Obvious!
It’s obvious from context but not explicit. Now it’s explicit. Some that can help put things in perspective.
By who?
A man; stranger.
What happened to them?
I have no idea. Tried reporting it but nothing came out of it, and I also didn’t have enough identifying info for them. Plus Kazakhstan is a corrupt country, back then even more so.
What did they want with you?
The man who kidnapped me had a desire to posses another person - like a pet. Someone who has no choice but to do, be where he wants them to. Always there. Think God complex and control freak.
Age 13-20? How much has this affected your growth and upbringing?
Do you find it affected your morality and beliefs.
OK in my mind this is a bunker where youre isolated. What was the social dynamic like?
Yes. This man actually took care of me & treated me well as long as I didn’t put up any resistance. He taught me math, English, Kazakh, science, etc. school stuff almost daily. Fed me well, got me nice clothes. Brought me books, games, toys and stuff. I had a TV with a gaming console and DVD player, a CD player for music, a PC (with no Internet)… so I don’t feel like I’ve been dumbed down. But I lost a lot social skills wise. He was the only person I interacted with. And to this day I’m a bit of a yes-man. It wasn’t a bunker. It was a renovated basement at first. After he believed I wouldn’t try anything, he let me around the house and outdoors to do housework and play.
Did you ever attempt to escape, if so how did it go?
I did once in the beginning. Tried to run through the basement door when he left it open and wasn’t paying attention. Obviously didn’t make it. He caned my soles & belted my back and bottom as punishment. I also found out that he left the door open on purpose cause he knew I’s try to run eventually, and wanted to get this lesson with over as soon as possible and needed a reason. So he set me up on purpose. Said he’d hammer my knees if I ever did that again. To say the least I never tried again.
What was your support like after the event? Do you feel you have recovered?
My family and friends were amazing, yes, I do. In most aspects.
How did the abduction occurred?
I was coming back from school and he approached and said he’d buy me whatever I wanted if I joined him shopping 'cause he’s lonely. He looked like a presentable, nice man, and I was also young and naive, but I said alright. Then in the car he drove for a bit and blindfolded, tied my hands and feet and gagged me and threw me in the trunk.
What was the reunification with your family like?
Hoe haar it affected your development? (Physiologically, sexually, socially)
My family completely thought I was dead. They made a promise to themselves that if they didn’t find me in 10 years, they’d hold a religious ceremony to bury me in absentia and officially consider me dead so that the family could move on. It was a huge shock and very emotional. Made me quite socially awkward, a yes-man and sexually repressed - this man didn’t allow me to masturbate or anything sexual like that at all and there were cameras all over so I was on constant watch; he wanted to keep me “pure and innocent”. Thinking about it now I’m probably more childish than people my own age due to it.
Wow that’s wild. I hope you get support from your family and professional help when you need it.
But also, there’s lots to discover. I wish you all the best.
I can’t even begin to imagine what this must have been like… I’m wondering about several things:
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What kind of reaction was there to your dissapearance? Have you ever looked up any archives to find out what happened in the days after you dissapeared?
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What is your life like now?
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Not that people lie on the internet for attention, but any proof of this?
- Were you ever physically or sexually abused by him?
- Did you ever try to contact for help through a telephone or other means? How did that go?
- Did anyone ever visit him while you were held captive?
You said he let you go, so he’s around somewhere. Have you thought about what you would do, if you ever accidentally met your kidnapper?
I wish you all the best in your life!
What was it like when you contacted your family again?
