When someone made your life a mess, it’s difficult to be sad about its death. Have you ever lived a such situation ?
I won’t go into the details, but my dad was a violent alcoholic and inflicted a great deal of trauma onto me as a kid. I had a job interview shortly after I got the text that he had died. I was in such a good mood that I aced the interview and got the job. Thanks for getting it right for once, Dad.
Basically how I feel that my mom’s dead lol
Yeah, I did have an experience like this. It’s a long story and difficult to explain, but here’s a TL;DR: i had a colleague who I became friends with for a while. He was going through some long mental breakdown exacerbated by addiction to prescription drugs. He was also desperately infatuated with this girl we knew who was interested in me, and not him (and he’d been married 25 years to her former roommate). He turned on me and tried his hardest to sabotage me personally and professionally, telling people a lot of different bizarre things that were not true, really insane things like I was plotting to steal their website and saying mean things about them behind their backs. He was respected in the community online, but people didn’t realize that in the town he lived he had destroyed his reputation and was considered a bit of a lunatic.
His smear campaign against me resulted in a LOT of trauma, worry, missed opportunities, general negativity and stress, for no reason at all other than that he was on a ton of drugs (Ambien, antidepressants, benzos, alcohol), losing his mind, and lashing out I think to harm me because he was so upset about his own life. Eventually, I guess killed himself (nobody will tell me, because they all were convinced I was his bitter enemy, though I just sort of wished he’d stop fucking with me).
I kind of felt bad when I heard he died, but at the same time, I was relieved and sort of happy about it, as in, fuck that guy. He appointed himself my total enemy for no reason at all. I missed him as a friend but what he did to try to harm me was so extreme that I was just happy it was over.
Holy freakin moley that sounds exhausting. Is there a word for slander when it actually works to convince people of untrue things about you? Almost like gaslighting but for everyone else instead of yourself.
I can’t even imagine the absurdity of being caught in a one-sided arch nemesis situation where someone has dedicated their life to destroying mine with zero interest from me except for watching The Monarch and Dr. Venture on The Venture Bros.
I’m glad you’re free from such insanity and I really hope the damage he caused isn’t enough to stop you from having an enjoyable life.
Thank you, yes, it was literally crazy. The word for that is… slander! Unfortunately to sue someone in the US for slander, you have to prove they knew it was false, intended to harm you, and it actually caused damages to you. Kind of a high hurdle especially when none of us have money for lawyers, but it’s not like that would even help.
I hadn’t even done anything to this guy at the time he flipped out on me. I had just spent 3 weeks at his house and he and his wife asked me to move in with them. The worst was that I said negative things about his dream love, who again, had zero interest in him romantically - I said she was taking advantage of us and I didn’t think she was a good person, which was true. So, he told her that, plus other aforementioned ludicrous things (I was “plotting to steal her website”, which wasn’t even possible since it was all in her name, and she knew that, but he didn’t). But she was offended and blacklisted me, herself. I ended up calling (emailing, ha) him and telling him to fuck off, which made him more upset. Later I made up with her and we had a 7-8 month relationship which was pretty messy itself, then when we broke up, she started slandering me, dating someone else, and that was when he apparently ended it.
It was about 10 years ago now, but it’s still one of the weirdest chapters of my life. I had my own problems at the time and didn’t really need those problems. I was traveling around the country at the time trying to hang out with people and go to conventions in our art community. I feel slightly bad as before this, I liked him a fair bit and had no reason not to, but striving to destroy me for a couple years wasn’t that great.
I wouldn‘t say I was delighted but when my grandmother died I didn‘t feel anything except for relief. She was unable to show any emotions and affection to her grandchildren. Moreover, she kept it a secret all throughout her life that her husband, my late grandfather, had an illegitimate child. She helped Granddad to despise the child all throughout his life and to dismiss the child’s claims, wishes and attempts to make contact. I imagine she would be furious to know that I contacted that same child, my (half-)uncle, and have established a good and friendly connection with him.
Someone I knew in high school that was a pain in my ass for a couple years. I got to graduate with all of my concurrent classes, while he ended up staying another year. But he was a nosy piece of shit, notably when I was dating someone he had. We’re talking, no personal space respecting kind, just up in your face and wanting you to do something to him so he’d have a reason to cry about it to someone. What made it worse was he was special ed, so it’s like even if we did something non-violent, he’d probably just play that card and get off scot-free.
Sometime after a few years after high school was over, he just died from something. I don’t know and I didn’t care. Just a matter of ‘whatever, I’m still here and he isn’t’ sort of deal.
Not yet, I am patiently waiting.
My aunt’s husband died suddenly and i was initially sad even though we weren’t pals, but when she was going through his papers she found out he was a chronic liar and con artist. he would claim to own a building and be getting money from tenants and it turned out he did not own that building- that kind of thing. he was also cheating. he lied about stuff that didn’t even matter, too. so i was glad he passed away before he screwed up my aunt’s life more than he did.
‘Delighted’ is a strong word, but two come immediately to mind:
First was an acquaintance I knew in high school, we had a few mutual friends but I don’t even remember his name tbh. The one and only occasion he was ever nice to me was while off his face on molly; the rest of the time he was an erratic, unpredictably destructive asshole who I just avoided. Around age 17ish he wrapped his motorcycle around a lamp post and that was that. Of course there’s a chance he might have mellowed out and grown up into a decent human being eventually, but far as I’m concerned he made the world a safer place by removing himself from it.
Second was a housemate who seemed harmless at first but turned out to be a compulsive liar with severe gambling problems - claimed to play poker professionally (he did play at comps, just wildly exaggerated his track record/earnings) and work at a local radio station (total fabrication). Amongst various other fuckery, he ran dipshit scams like selling nonexistent gaming consoles on eBay with our real home address/phone number on his profile, stole and pawned a bunch of our stuff, lied about paying his share of rent/bills while hiding our mail until we got hit with disconnections and eviction warnings, and then skipped town when it all unravelled and we threatened to go to the cops. Last we heard he was still up to his old tricks, and I know wound up serving time for tax fraud.
A decade or so later he was abducted and murdered in some kind of drug-related dispute, and his body still hasn’t been found. It’s a shitty way to go and I wouldn’t wish that end on anyone, but he clearly hadn’t learned anything or grown a conscience in the time since we parted ways, so it’s a comfort that he won’t be able to hurt anyone else now.
