The pay cuts get deeper, the debt increases, Im frantically looking for a new opportunity but every app I put in goes straight into the void, I copped an interview but nuked it. This particular month has been extremely harsh, I have never seen cuts this deep in my entire career.

I cut expenses where I could, sold what I had with value, started deferring meals and showers to save up on money, even found myself being chased by fare inspectors a few times. I was donating blood to a vampirecorp for a while but they started dropping the value of their donations and I got tired of being relentlessly stabbed because I have an issue with rolling veins so I gave up.

I hate my job, I hate that my kid self thought getting into IT would break the family poverty, I hate that my boss praised our department for having “zero network outages” but proceeds to give us a half empty box of donuts. Im filled with a cripplingly massive amount of hate and depression, and on top of that, embarassment for asking people for help- especially when the people I ask are getting tired of me asking.

Nevermind the compounding anxiety of the climate crisis and fascism becoming commonplace.

I just fucking hate myself so much right now