• 1 Post
  • 108 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 9th, 2023

help-circle

  • Drinking can be a big part of socializing in the US, but you’ll be able to get by without it. Neighbors don’t come over uninvited here, and it’s unusual to have the type of friendships where people come by unannounced all the time (at least, after college).

    I might try a few things:

    • If you haven’t already, find a local mosque to attend; that’s a good way to widen your social circle with American Muslims, who may be able to introduce you to more people, broaden it further, etc. It’ll be folks who are more culturally familiar, but many will likely be a bit more integrated already and have a wider group of American friends as well.

    • Hobby based clubs are great, but they do tend to be a little transactional – think about hobbies you want to be doing anyway (so you’re not JUST there to meet people).

    • If you have the time, I’d be on the lookout for volunteering and community service type activities – it’s a great way to meet good people, more committed than a hobby group, and much less awkward to socialize in than a workplace.

    • Depending where you live, try and strike up conversations a bit more openly / frequently, and be willing to mention that you just moved here and don’t know many folks. At the barbershop, out to breakfast, in a long line, at the coffee shop, etc. Make conversation, a lot of people will be happy to chat and some will invite you to things. Just gotta be ok with lots of chats.









  • Once you crack the code, it is easy peasy – but it’s very non intuitive until then. Either use a double boiler (I don’t recommend this approach, it makes it harder to tell whats going on, reduces your control and makes setup feel like a chorae) … or buy a few dozen eggs, a couple pounds of butter and a dozen lemons and just practice the sequence until it clicks.

    The key is to control the temperature carefully, and keep that temperature homogenous and even… that means knowing how warm and cold your ingredients are, and steady whisking.

    Two ways to do it:

    • Whisk together eggs, water and lemon juice until the mixture thickens, and then add melted butter slowly (your slowest and most foolproof method)

    • Whisk your eggs to aerate them, set them aside. Melt your butter, remove it from the heat and add your (cold) lemon juice and water. Should be about room temp now. Whisk it together and drizzle in the eggs, whisking constantly. Then put it back on the heat and whisk it steadily till it thickens, which will be quite soon.

    The first path is the correct way, in that it minimizes the risk of putting the eggs into a hot pan (and curdling them), but it’s also slower and more involved. Basically, any way that ensures the eggs are about the same temperature as whatever gets mixed into them, and heated up gradually from there, works.


  • For some of us at some times in our lives, having a relationship with two people is less work. It requires much more communication, better scheduling, and much more attention to your partners’ feelings … but that might be a good investment of time anyhow, and often gets overlooked.

    I find that having multiple partners helps me appreciate each partner much more, for themselves – it’s easy to mix up how much you love just having a partner and being loved, with how you actually feel about that person. Poly gives you the distance and contrast to see your partners clearly, and that can be really special.








  • So teeeeechnically, a salad is a dish composed of mixed ingredients. You could make the argument that you mix any two set of chopped ingredients and bingo bongo, it’s a salad.

    However, I like to think that dishes’ ingredients aren’t a taxonomic thing, they’re a probabilistic thing. In other words, there’s no such thing as “not salad” or “salad”, only shades of saladness.

    • Serve it cold? Ok it’s saladier

    • It’s made up of chopped ingredients? Saladier still

    • Those ingredients are mostly vegetables? Getting pretty saladish

    • They’re mixed together? Even more salad like

    • They’ve got some sort of dressing mixed in? Now it’s very likely a salad!

    … and so on. To me, your SO’a dish has a pretty high Salad Probability^tm