I’m afraid that if we’re going to have a conversation about the experiences of capitalised pronoun users, the bigotry of certain people outside the community is going to have to be a part of the conversation. Most people are not transphobes, but some are, and most of the people who engage in violent and uncompromising transphobia are cis. That’s not an attack on cis people, it’s just the world we live in. Us trans people don’t have the luxury of being cisphobic. That’s not because of some kind of inherent superioity, it’s because the conditions of society don’t afford us the same latitudes when it comes to displaying intolerance. A trans person who went around misgendering cis people with neopronouns would be laughed at, while the same behaviour from cis people is often tolerated. That’s the simple reason. Nobody’s better than anyone else, it’s simply what happens when a society is transphobic.
When we are talking about an issue where someone is potentially at risk of suicide, nothing else matters. There’s nothing else in the pronoun debate that comes close to the weight of all the dead kids lost to suicide because they didn’t feel accepted by our transphobic society. We need to make trans people feel accepted. Someone else thinking they’re accepted isn’t good enough, because that doesn’t change the suicide risk. The only measure of whether trans people are actually accepted is what trans people think.