"WHY COULDN’T SHE BE THE OTHER KIND OF BOSTON DYNAMICS ROBOT?!?

WITH THE MACHINE PART ON TOP AND THE LADY PART ON THE BOTTOM?!?"

This answer may be a cheat and a stretch, but hear me out…

Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight

Specifically, the opening levels set in Nar Shaddaa, one of my favorite, underappreciated locations in the extended universe.

The whole moon was one giant, grimey, neon-lit city blanketed in night, overrun with sleazy organized criminals and jazz music. Pretty big noir vibes too.

It’s the first time I remember experiencing the aesthetic, which felt so sharply different from the colorful, swashbuckling Star Wars I had known. And I knew I loved it.

Shortwave eroticism.

And that’s not even taking into account the miseries of:

1: Fighting with insurance to let you have what you desperately need at a price that wouldn’t bankrupt you.

2: Fighting with your pharmacy over prescription issues.

3: Dealing with sudden nationwide shortages.

Fuck…

I don’t care how old this image is or how many times I’ve seen it…

Every single time, I end up feeling better. Instant mood boost. I hope it never stops getting posted.

I’m so goddamned sick of masking.

Gainax AF.

I’ve been using VR lately for this purpose. Surprisingly effective.

I dunno. Just helps to isekai myself to a different plane of existence for a little while.

Take her to paladinner and a movie?

(Sorry.)

I honestly think this makes a pretty good fit.

Castlevania’s flashy, ornate aesthetic and over-the-top dramatics could transition nicely to the stage.

Like, imagine the WHAT IS A MAN monologue being belted out from centerstage under a spotlight and accompanied by organ music.

Dude, yesterday I heard a radio ad promoting “vintage alternative” music and it was fucking “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers.

Vintage.

I wanted to throw my geriatric elder Millennial ass through my windshield.

Maybe they’re just from a sex-positive couple into CGSM.

Ahhhhhh…look at all the blonely bleople…

Star Wars: The Phantom Gribble

(And yeah, I know this is ROTS. Phantom Gribble just sounds funnier in my head.)

Ugh, don’t get me started on roommates.

Like, once, they got all paranoid about some supernatural nonsense and poured all this salt on the hallway floor, like in a big stupid circle. Right outside of my door.

Total pain in the ass. Like, I refuse to go out there until they clean that shit up. I physically won’t. I don’t care how long it takes or how hungry I get.

Though I can’t remember the last time I felt hunger…hmmm…

Honestly, it’s been so long I’m not sure I can even differentiate anymore.

Flanders’s breakdown is the most earned and satisfying character moment in television history.

Hank Hill voice:

“Just look at it, Bobby. It’s got-dang beautiful, I tell ya h’wat.”