• 13 Posts
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Joined 8 months ago
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Cake day: March 22nd, 2024

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  • The article itself muddies the waters even more:

    Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

    All told, the decision to acquire InfoWars was an easy one for the Global Tetrahedron executive board.

    Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon…

    Its is a parody post, but also real, but also The Onion. It’s a shining, throughbread Onion article, but also not.

    We need !sortoftheonion