Dave Coe

Salt is not an optional ingredient.

Unsalted butter is a crime against cuisine.

Thank you for self-reporting, criminal. Please stand by, the butter police will arrive shortly.

A good smack upside the head, just because I like you.

Stop eating your Legos.

Nope. An AC just moves temperatures around. If it heats one area, it cools another.

“heirloom gorillas” lol

I wear them on both feet.

Well, there’s a new insult: “You soggy-bones looking mother fucker.”