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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • Americans seem very “fighty” compared to people from many other countries. You just have to say something that could be construed as liberal (the American kind) or conservative, too politically correct or incorrect, or mention you ride a bicycle or have an outdoor cat, to set some people off. With some Americans having a conversation is like navigating a minefield, especially those who have very little understanding of the rest of the world and reads everything you say into an American context, language barriers and all.

    I love talking politics, and have had pleasant conversations with all kinds of people but I have learned from experience to just not bother with Americans, unless they’re the very curious and open kind.






  • I think you could argue that this is an example of cognitive dissonance. It is uncomfortable to come face to face with new information that contradicts your beliefs or actions, and it requires energy if you want to integrate that new information into your worldview and adjust your actions. It is much easier to deny that information, even when it is clearly true.

    For example, when it came out that aspartame might cause cancer, if you (like me) have eaten/drunk a lot of products containing it or have had a strong belief that it was completely safe, then it may be more comfortable for you to criticize WHO or think “well, it’s not really relevant for me because my family isn’t predisposed for cancer.” If you didn’t care about aspartame or artificial sweeteners before, you will probably readily accept that there may or may not be a cancer link.



  • I think some people’s self-worth relies on them being “good”/right/perfect, so they can’t apologize without also hurting themselves. I don’t really get it either, because in my experience being able to apologize when you need to, is a huge strength. People will overlook almost any mistake you’ve made when they know that you feel bad about it, instead of having it turn into an useless conflict.

    Even if you don’t feel like apologizing surely you can say “I didn’t mean to hurt you and I’ll try not to do it again” or even “I didn’t mean to hurt you but I don’t really care about your feelings/I think you’re being unreasonable” so you know where they stand.