no one:
absolutely nobody:
still nobody:
not a single soul:
literally no one:
not even big chungus:
burggit user: did we really need the worst part of reddit here?
[everyone disliked that]
baby yeed: wait that’s illegal
brie larson: ok that was lowkey on point
pickle rick: slaps roof of car luke did i ever tell you about the time i turned myself into a pickle? it was an epic moment.
luke: is retarded
CIA: Bane?
sans undertale: hey don’t google HP Lovecraft’s cat name
[OP googles hp lovecrafts cat name]
CIA: congratulations you got yourself caught!
stan lee: flies past in a spaceship ooooh i dont care what universe you’re from that’s GOTTA HURT
[everyone laughed]
keanu reeves: you’re breathtaking!
area 51 guards:i bet i can take keanu reeves
keanu reeves: you sure about that
keanu reeves: kills all area 51 guards
area 51:wait thats illegal
Everyone liked that
CIA: am I joke to you?
Alt right incels: there’s no way star wars can be good agai…
Baby Yeed: hold my beer
Big chungus joined the chat
Drumpf has left the chat
Lemmytor: ‘Yeah, I’m thinking this is kind of epic based pilled, maybe a bit of a coom moment??’

Yeah, you laugh now, but once you feel the mighty loli strength you won’t be laughing.

It was years ago, I was just walking along, minding my business while on my way home from work. Suddenly, a dark, nondescript van with “free beer” scrawled on the side slowly creeps up from behind me. The window rolls down and staring at me is a young blue-haired girl with pigtails, maybe about 9 years old, eyeing me up suspiciously. She calls out in a slightly hushed voice: -“Hey… Hey buddy. You want some classic rock cd’s? I’ve got a ton in the back.” I was told never to speak to little girls I didn’t know, but the offer was so enticing I foolishly replied “R-really? D-do you have The Beatles? O-or maybe Bob Seger?” She chuckled darkly, “Oh yeah, I’ve got everything. The Who, Floyd, Tom Petty, you name it. But you’ll have to hop in the back here if you want me to give them to you.” I knew I should have ran, but part of me was too scared of what she might do if I said no, as I walked to the back I could swear I saw her licking her lips out of the corner of my eye. As I reached for the handle the doors suddenly flung open and about five lolis reached out and grabbed me. I screamed as loud as I could, but one of them gagged me with her panties and they pulled me in with their mighty loli strength. They pinned me down, as I struggled I heard one of them say “Sit on the bitch’s face, Sanae. Shut him the fuck up”. Suddenly my vision was then completely obscured and my screams muffled by pink softness, with what looked like a cartoon bear’s face on the back. As tears rolled down my cheeks they laughed at my pointless struggle. It was at that point I realized there really was no rock.