• BURN@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Just don’t be surprised when you get left out of most all group activities.

      • BURN@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Like any parties, meetups, day to day activities, group activity planning, reminders about bills, etc

        Don’t act like you’re not missing anything from being the only person excluded from a group chat due to ridiculous standards.

        • amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyz
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          1 year ago

          If the friends in the group chat don’t hit you up individually to let you know about those things, then why would you want to spend time with them in the first place?

          • BURN@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Because most of the time they’re not leaving you out because they’re doing it intentionally, but because everyone else already has the info, you’re just making it much harder to invite yourself.

            I was this person. I got left out of a lot of stuff because I wouldn’t join group chats. It’s not a hill worth dying on.

            • amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyz
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              1 year ago

              I would say not inviting that person is doing it intentionally, as everyone knows that person isn’t in the group chat. Also, it does not make you much harder to invite, it’s literally just letting your friend know outside of the group chat.

              If your friends leave you out of things for this reason, they don’t want to hang out with you very much.

              • skybox@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                I’m 21 and a decent amount of my friends assume I’m already in the group chats where plans are made, and when they remember I’m not, push me to get an iPhone instead of switching to a platform where I can be included. It’s shitty, but everyone else gets the info so it’s okay.

                Even my 36-year-old cousin said she wouldn’t date anyone who didn’t have an iPhone.

                At this point, I’m happy Instagram has come up as a platform everyone usually has an account on (even if it fucking sucks) just so that I am accessible for friends to easily add me to groups.

                • settinmoon@lemmy.ml
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                  1 year ago

                  When I quit mainstream social media platforms half of my friend added me on signal and the other half agreed to just text me. Would I miss out on some group events? Maybe, but I don’t need to be in every one of them. If I want any sort of group gathering I’d just organize one.

                  Your cousin just sounds miserable and it’s really her loss for judging people by a tool of communication.

                • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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                  1 year ago

                  You have no standards for privacy, if you cannot stand your ground. If you are so desperate for socialising that you cannot find a different set of friends, you will never really form lasting bonds.

                  Even my 36-year-old cousin said she wouldn’t date anyone who didn’t have an iPhone.

                  She has a shallow character. I would reject just after hearing that.

          • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 year ago

            If your bills don’t remind you to pay then because you’re not on Instagram, why would you… be… paying them in the first place?

        • ExLisper@linux.community
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          1 year ago

          Friends will tell you about all those things anyway. If someone didn’t tell you about a party because you’re not on instagram they didn’t want to hang out with you anyway.

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          Lawl I’ve never NOT been invited to a party because I don’t have accounts on social media. What kinda of friends exclude you from “day to day activities” (I can’t NOT read that in the voice of Hank Hill) if you’re not on fucking Instagram?

          Reminders about BILLS?! The fuck are you on?!

          What an insane comment.

          • BURN@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            My roommates and I had a groupchat that was used explicitly for all of those things.

            Planning on the group chat was about the only talking about activities we’d do. If something was missed in the group chat, that was on the person who missed it.

            We paid shared bills. That’s where we did all of the breakup of responsibilities and money requirements.

            Being left out of group chats will absolutely have you left out of day to day activities since they now have to go out of their way to invite only you, since everyone else already has the info.

            • amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyz
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              1 year ago

              If now that youve left the groupchat your roommates just forget to invite you, even if that what they’re used to, that says A LOT about your friends. I disagree that sending you a message is “out of their way”, it takes an infintismally amount of effort to message someone a time and place. Also, messaging you just is not out of their way, its right in their path if anything. (Assuming they have any desire to see you)

        • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Friends can absolutely drop a SMS or phone call if Instagram/Snapchat mutuals is not possible. The pre condition is that you must be worth being a friend, and they must not be dumb enough. Usually all the “internet socials” people I see are shallow and stingy with fake smiles and good short talk upon first interaction.