• workerONE@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    “It is unfair how I am treated,” he said, “the moment I see a female and say ‘hello there female’ they always leave after saying something. I don’t know what they said because I wasn’t listening but they are being very rude.”

    “I don’t understand what it is that makes women seem uncomfortable around me… likely they are just intimidated to be in the presence of a real alpha man like me. I don’t blame them for that.”

  • frickineh@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Wait, where’s the part where he calls a woman a *fat whore who can keep chasing Chad but she better not come crying to him when she turns 30 and hits the wall?

    *about 75% of this is just a reworded comment I saw today on an article about dating in my city.

    • uis@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Spermatozoon-producing organism and ovum-producing organism

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      I’ve seen some be upset about it used in “male and female” context. I think they just misunderstood why some don’t like the use of the term or didn’t stop to think about it.

    • 1rre@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5 months ago

      It’s not even clinical, it’s used as a shortening of “female patient” or “female subject” or whatever, especially when lady or woman (which refer only to adult female humans) aren’t universally clear, but people who use it as a noun outside of those contexts are just using nonstandard English, and generally socially inacceptable nonstandard English at that.

    • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I will never understand the drama over the word “female”.

      I set up a doctor’s appointment the other day, and I was asked if I had a doctor preference. I responded and said “I’d prefer a female doctor.” According to the internet, apparently I should have asked for a “woman doctor”.

      Reversing the gender, I’d be asking for either a “male doctor” or a “man doctor”. I will literally never use the phrase “I’d prefer a man doctor, please.” Because it has weird connotations, and doesn’t even roll off the tongue as well.

      So because I believe in male/female equality, I am necessarily required to treat them the same, with similar varieties of words.

      So what’s the problem? Give me a reason why I should use the less technical versions of words that invoke social-gender-stereotypes when I want to avoid all of that entirely.

      • flicker@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        You’ve been told (probably at length) what women in general prefer to be called. It’s probably even been explained to you. Your feigning ignorance about why is just saying that you don’t find those answers satisfactory.

        You’re free to call women “females” and you can justify it however you want, just like I’m free to allow absolutely zero people who refer to me as “female” (outside of very limited clinical circumstances) to touch my tits.

          • flicker@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            I actually say “lady doctor.” Because I do prefer a doctor who is a woman and “lady doctor” sounds fancy.

            E: Last male doctor I had told me that it was “just” an ovarian cyst and it “shouldn’t hurt that much” so I should take some aspirin and I’d be able to work tomorrow. So yeah. Lady doctor for me.

            • uis@lemm.ee
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              5 months ago

              I actually say “lady doctor.”

              But what if you are in country where aristocracy doesn’t exist?

              • flicker@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                I do exist in such a country! But I was recently called “quirky” so I guess take my advice as you will.

        • Allero@lemmy.today
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          5 months ago

          You do you, and you may have any preferences to words you like and people who are allowed to touch your tits.

          I’m personally out of the loop on the entire “female debate”. Please do not assume everyone in the world knows everything about it perfectly well. (I’m not original commenter though, can’t comment on that).

          Do women find this term objectifying, like a female animal seen in biology primarily from a reproductive side or something? Does it feel like you’re not treated as a deep and complex human and minimized to a sex object?

          That’s what I can probably come up with as a first thought.

          Personally, I just use terms “male” and “female” where they normally traditionally fit within the language, and I use them for both men and women. I have never seen males reacting negatively to be called that, but I’ve seen many females triggered, which is curious to me.

          • RageAgainstTheRich@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Maybe women are responding “triggered” because you sound like a fucking dick?

            “I refer to women in a demeaning and shitty way. In a way that makes them seem like they are below me. And they tend to be so triggered by it. Hmmm so curious. 🧐”

            Does that not trigger something in your tiny brain? Do you not think “Hmmm… Maybe they don’t like it. I should stop doing it as to not be a piece of shit.”

            OR you enjoy it when are a bully and enjoy it when people get upset at you for being shitty to them.

            So it’s either you have the intelligence of a tennis ball, or you’re a fucking dick.

            You should reflect on that.

            • Allero@lemmy.today
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              5 months ago

              Nah, you (and apparently a shitton of people who disliked the previous comment into oblivion) made a lot of assumptions about me, and the only reason I’m having this tone is exactly in response to such aggressive actions.

              I must assume this is due to the use of the words “curious” and “females” in the last sentence - first means I actually am curious to why is that and what stands behind it and want to better understand people, and second I had to use in contrast to males to demonstrate the similar situation causing two different reactions.

              I am genuinely out of the loop, and it’s just recently that I found a lot of opposition to the use of the word “female”. I want to know what is standing behind that, as I didn’t see the same reaction to the word “male”, which is constantly used, even once, nor do I personally see any problem with it as a male.

              I want people to stop assuming everyone is trying to hurt them and go on a full on crusade against people who are genuinely curious on what’s behind it or are unknowingly doing something offensive.

              Instead, I get yet another attack. If you are truly enlightened on the source of such reactions, I’d rather have you explain it to me, so I would know more on why is it exactly such a problem, and how massive it is.

              Referencing my tiny brain or my character isn’t gonna cut it, and by that you’ll keep people out of the loop and radicalized by such an attitude, which commonly leads to the effect opposite to what you’re trying to have.

              I will not suddenly change my understanding of the situation by people yelling and downvoting. I can come at the issue with empathy if people could explain the situation.

              I truly want to build bridges here and get to the bottom of the issue that started the conflict around the word in the first place.

              • RageAgainstTheRich@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                I’m not reading all of that. Stop being a baby and listen to people when they say they don’t like you calling them something. I very much doubt this is the first time you were asked to not use the word “female” when talking to a woman.

                If you’re not signing some important document or in a medical setting, don’t talk to women and use the word female on them. It makes you sound like a demeaning dick.

                “I just don’t understand why females do this” “Please stop calling us females. It makes it sound like we are less than men. Just call us women.” “Oh okay, no problem.”

                Tadaaa. Problem fixed. Not that big of a deal.

                • Allero@lemmy.today
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                  5 months ago

                  “I’m not reading all of that”

                  Could have stopped there. Ignorance is bliss, huh? Allows you to rage on someone who literally explained they didn’t mean any offensive behavior and were genuinely asking.

                  But you do you, even if you rage first and read later.

              • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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                5 months ago

                You’re incredibly patient. I commend you, really.

                No idea what’s going on as well, by the way.

        • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          You’re just choosing to be outraged for the sake of drama. I’m sorry if one person in your past has called you a “female” offensively, but lets consider moving on from it.

          It’s just a word. It’s not a slur.

          The word “woman” is not any better, and even has its own issues with preconceptions. Every time you come across someone who is trying to be stereotypically traditional and enforce any idea of classic societal gender roles, they refer to themselves as a MAN or a WOMAN.

          Because I generally interact with people who are uncomfortable being assigned traditional gender roles, it’s more comfortable to think of them as their biological sex–male or female, so that I am not projecting gender stereotypes on them

          Now why don’t you chill out?

          • RageAgainstTheRich@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Oh fuck off. You know damn well it sounds like you think women are below you when you use “female” in all these contexts. Multiple people have told you you sound like a dick when saying “female”. But you just won’t accept it. Your comment history makes you sound completely insufferable…

            Just accept and learn and stop trying to die on this hill because of your ridiculous ego.

          • flicker@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Lmfao. Dude, calling me offended and telling me to chill out doesn’t work anymore. Trolling has evolved.

            I explained to you patiently where your mistake is, and you sent me a wall of text about why you should be allowed to refer to a whole group of people by a word they don’t like.

          • protist@mander.xyz
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            5 months ago

            Because I generally interact with people who are uncomfortable being assigned traditional gender roles, it’s more comfortable to think of them as their biological sex–male or female, so that I am not projecting gender stereotypes on them

            That happened lmao. You just made this the fuck up

            • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              Dude, I’m a furry. Most of my friends are gay, trans, or some form of LGBTQ+ or non-binary who do not conform to typical gender or societal stereotypes.

              Stop being a piece of shit lmao

              • protist@mander.xyz
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                5 months ago

                All those males and females who are your friends? Lmao no you stop

                • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  “This guy says the word female so he must not have any friends” – This guy, apparently.

                  You’re dumb.

      • SybilVane@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        There’s a difference between using it as an adjective and a noun.

        Requesting “a female doctor” is not as bad as requesting “a female.”

          • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Silly comment. I prefer female doctors because I like their personalies better, and I believe that their medical knowledge is equal to a male doctor’s knowledge. It’s also less weird to me to be touched by a member my preferred gender. My reasons are absolutely not related to any clinical reasoning.

            • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              You literally used the example of a doctor to disagree with someone saying it’s clinical, I just thought it was funny so made a joke.

              And why so serious? Reply to the other person who was actually making a serious point if you want that

      • yildolw@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Adjective vs noun. Noun-izing some adjectives makes them sound like a slur

        A black doctor vs a black.

        A Jewish doctor vs a jew.

        A female doctor vs a female.

        • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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          5 months ago

          Thanks for the explanation. It’s too bad it’s seen as a slur, as it’s really useful to group women and girls with one word. As is “male”, for men and boys. This one doesn’t appear to be seen as a slur, though.

      • Default_Defect@midwest.social
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        5 months ago

        My understanding is that its less about the word itself and more about the usage in contrast to how the same person refers to men. Males will be men, dudes, bros, etc. but they’ll only refer to women as females. Usually with a thinly veiled distain. “All these dudes just hanging out but the FEMALES are fighting.” or some shit.

        • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I’m in my 30s and I’ve never met a single person in my entire life who refers to women as “the females”. I work in a highly male-dominated field full of country boys, for reference.

          • Default_Defect@midwest.social
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            5 months ago

            I’ve not personally met someone like that either, but I AM terminally online and see it a lot. It’s usually Andrew Tate enjoyer types.

          • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            I’m in my 30’s and haven’t heard it out in the real world either, but that’s probably because the assortment of individuals who use females as a pejorative either don’t use it in public because it’s cringe and they know it, or because they don’t go outside.
            That’s only my educated guess though.

          • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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            5 months ago

            When I worked in an FLGS I heard it from customers quite often, which we would always try to nudge them in another direction. It’s not the “country boys” who say it, it’s the 4chan/incel/Alpha-male set.

      • Ibuthyr@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 months ago

        I noticed during my business trip to Australia that the toilets were labeled male/female. It sounded weird in my head for some reason.

        • uis@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          Now imagine other languages that don’t have female-woman difference.

        • uis@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          Is there some reason for some preferences? Do you prefer all men or just doctors?

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Here’s a hint, guys: Bitches don’t like being called “females”.

  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    That’s what we were instructed to use to refer to a subset of our platoon-mates while working, in those rare cases where it made a difference. One of my DS, an MP from Halifax, would absolutely tear a strip off you if she heard you say ‘girl’ or ‘woman’, in barely comprehensible English out from under that scary red Beret, and you knew the woe was coming.

    • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      As a recovered Marine, I know too well how sexist the military is especially under the guise of “nomenclature.”

    • AquaTofana@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I just made a comment about this too! The “male” and “female” vernacular is alive and well in the US military as well!

  • humbletightband@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 months ago

    In my native language it’s highly offensive to call a woman a female. Didn’t know that’s the thing in English.

    At the same time we call children “human larve” and everyone is ok with that

    • 🐍🩶🐢@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It really really rubs most of us the wrong way. Yet, for whatever reason, stupid men are taught that it is ok to call us “females”. It is like we are corpses. Things. Not even people.

      • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Even if someone called me a “male” constantly it would kind of freak me out. They are theoretically interchangeable, but male or female just comes off less “human” I guess. If they choose to only ever say male or female then it makes you wonder if they literally perceive you as inhuman.

      • Amanduh@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        I mean I used to do it tons in the army, that was the accepted way to refer to the women. Like “hey where is the females bunk I need to drop something off to sgt jones”

        I never meant it disrespectfully, can’t speak for anyone else though.

        • gerbler@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          It’s not so much that the word itself is offensive it’s just that using it as a noun instead of an adjective to refer to a person carries with it connotations and implies you’re referring to a person as if they’re a subject or an animal or something below human.

    • barsoap@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      At the same time we call children “human larve” and everyone is ok with that

      In Low Saxon (and Northern German) there’s “Schietbüddel”. Depending on how you translate it it could mean “chaotic/sticky minion” or “bundle of excrement”.

  • fiercekitten@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    I don’t understand why “gal” isn’t used more. It’s "woman"s single-syllable sister and also isn’t infantilizing like using “girl” can be.

  • AquaTofana@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I have such a weird take on this, due to being in the military for so long. We absolutely do refer to one another as “males” and “females”.

    Ie. “There was a female SSgt that was really helpful in customer service” or “I had to remind a male Soldier to put on his cover when he left the building” or “I had a female troop once”.

    However, I try really hard when I’m speaking to a non-military member to switch up my phrasing. Sometimes I still slip up, and I gotta be like “shit, sorry, I mean that woman cashier over there” or whatever it is that I’m talking about.

    I will say though, I do distinctly remember having that conversation during basic training, and fucking hating being referred to as “female” in the beginning, and that thought being shared amongst my flightmates. I can still hear the TIs shouting from across the parking lot: “GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, FE-MALE!” Ugh.

    It was just 16 years ago now, so “female” has become normalized.

    • hakobo@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      In your first examples, you are using female as an adjective. A female troop, a female Sargent, a male soldier. That’s usually fine. Even “that female cashier over there” is probably fine. However if you say “that female over there” or like you pointed out, “get over here right now, female” or really any other instance where female is used as a noun instead of an adjective, that’s where it becomes gross. It’s all about adjective vs noun. Adjective: usually fine. Noun: usually not.

      • AquaTofana@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Yeah after I posted the comment, I was reading through other people’s, and someone pointed this exact difference out. This take makes full sense to me!!!

  • flerp@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Hahahuaha jokes on them, they don’t know I have a cat so I am sharing a chair with a female at this exact moment in time!

  • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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    5 months ago

    Those guys are the rapiest ones. It’s disingenuous to act like the types of men who call women ‘females’ aren’t the same guys who neg, space invade and spike drinks.

  • Psythik@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I don’t understand. My girlfriend calls women “females”.

    So long as you’re not using it in a disrespectful way, there’s no reason why women can’t be called what they are. What’s next? Getting upset because I call it a vagina instead of a “pussy”?

    • flying_sheep@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      I’ve never read any internet comment using “female” as a noun for human women that wasn’t problematic.

      • tiredofsametab@kbin.run
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        5 months ago

        This is interesting to me because, as a dude in his 40s, I grew up with adults (and even cartoons) saying ‘woman xxxx’ being the pejorative (i.e. damn woman drivers!). It’s been weird to seem to see this flip.

        • flying_sheep@lemmy.ml
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          5 months ago

          In addition to what the other reply to you said, I was talking specifically about “female” as a noun.

          “females like xyz” and so on.

          • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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            4 months ago

            That’s true, but the OP’s and my experience is that the adjectival use, like “woman doctor,” was pejorative. I associate it with Greatest and Silent Generation relatives. We changed to say “female doctor,” as it sounded more neutral.

            Now, there’s a movement back, and lots of younger folks now say that the latter is demeaning, and that “woman doctor” is the respectful phrasing. I know it’s essentially arbitrary, and defined by usage, it’s just interesting to see the evolution.

        • derfunkatron@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I think the difference is that one case is a collective noun and the other is a fallacy.

          Contrast with using females as a collective noun which can been seen as reductive or offensive on its own without the fallacious logic.

        • Maeve@kbin.earth
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          4 months ago

          Lol! I forget I’m older. That may also contribute to my comfortability with it!

      • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        I use it, and never mean it in an offensive way.

        “The pronoun “she” is for females, while “he” is for males”.

        But now that I see that it’s so widely seen as a slur, I’ll refrain from using it with people who don’t know me well. I’ll use “women and girls”, now.

        • derfunkatron@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I’m bothered when ever I hear someone use females as a collective noun for women. Not necessarily because it offends me or because I’m offended on behalf of someone else, but because it sounds so strange to me and the context where it is used is often wildly inappropriate.

          The usage is odd; in my experience people who refer to women collectively as females often do not refer to men collectively as males which is often telling about other beliefs and ideas. Also, male/female and man/woman are dichotomies, and using men/females sounds really off.

          Referring to people using technical terminology feels reductive and weird to me. Replace female with any other technical identity term and use it the same way: it will get really awkward really fast.

          I am aware that the majority of people who use females collectively are not doing so to offend. Hell, the other day, I heard a teacher refer to the girls in her class as females. I doubt she was using it as a pejorative, but she referred to the boys as… boys. The whole thing was weird to me.

          • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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            5 months ago

            Yea. “Female” and “male” don’t sound weird to me in themselves. I don’t see then as in a different category of words than “women” or “boys”. But using it in an inconsistent way would be weird to me as well. If in a class, the girls, or women, are in the same age as the boys, or men, then it should be either “girls and boys”, or “women and men”. Or “females and males”. But “females and boys” is just inconsistent.

    • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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      5 months ago

      It’s generally the difference between using it as a descriptor, and a noun. Noun bad.

      Compare “I really like watching the female football game” and “I really like watching the women’s football game”
      “Female” isn’t trans-inclusive, but people aren’t going to look at you weird either way you say it.

      Now compare that to:
      “I really like watching the females play football.” and “I really like watching the women play football.”
      “Females” here makes you sound like you’re getting sexual gratification from watching the players, or that you see them as nothing more than a vagina, “women” sounds like you might like the game.

  • CraigeryTheKid@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Ok I will totally admit that, especially when during DEI discussions or other similar meetings, when my brain is about to say “woman” I can freak out and over-correct and I have absolutely said “females”.

    I used to say “boys and girls”, even my female wife says “girls” is fine, but 1 time in 2009 I got yelled at for using “girls” and I have never recovered.

    • protist@mander.xyz
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      5 months ago

      Saying something that may be perceived as offensive and then later realizing you probably should have said it differently is totally different from saying the same thing unabashedly with zero self-awareness

      • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        Sometimes it feels awkward. I’m getting used to it but for some reason it’s unnatural. My women friends in real life also find it weird to say women, they also say females.