• fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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    4 months ago

    Most of the replies you’ve received are trying to explain that saying “men” are what is wrong with “people” is a generalisation that is unhelpful and harms all men.

    It’s true that the perp is a man, and it’s also true that most violence against women is perpetrated by men. However, that doesn’t mean there’s a causal link between being a man and assaulting women.

    It’s much more likely that the addressable causes underlying this “man’s” actions are poverty, lack of mental health support, and cultural norms including but not limited to religion.

    When you suggest that “men” are the cause of what happened to this athlete, it’s not surprising that men will be offended. To thereafter frame the obvious response as sexist is projection, frankly.

    • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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      4 months ago

      The article mentions a land dispute. Kenya has a murder for land problem.

      It takes many forms, including witch hunting - the spread of witch hunting in sub Saharan Africa mostly an excuse for land grabs against the weak. Old man, single women, get targeted by gangs under the guise of witch hunting. It is also fueled by Christian churches vying for power against traditional religion in the region.

      Sorry, went off track a bit. But even though it was her ex who did it, it is very likely a land dispute rather than misogyny behind the horrid crime.

    • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Men literally prey after women. When its done right its called, what, lust? Love?

      A lot of men are drawn to women as their natural state.

      Its not a crazy thing to say that women should be cautious around men in general is it?

      • fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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        4 months ago

        Disingenuous at best.

        People need to be cautious around people.

        The vast majority of men do not “prey” on anything, including women.

        • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          I’m sorry I just don’t feel very unsafe around women. Why should I? The cast majority of violence is committed by men against other men.

          I’m a man, and I’m wary of other men, who often attack men over women, or their ego, or their fragile state of mind has been disrupted momentarily or whatever other trivial reason men feel justified attacking people.

          Driving in my car = men are more likely to participate in road rage At work = men are more likely to commit violence at work than women At home = men are most likely to break and enter occupied homes In public = men are most likely to be the perpetrator of a public mass shooting public shooting.

          I’m a man and I agree with women. Men often react violently when angry, and women simply do not. Whether thats a power thing, and if women were bigger it would flip, but the point is, if you are generally worried about your safety, then you don’t need to worry about women very much at all, and you need to worry about men very much so.

          Remember these are generalizations, anyone is capable of anything and women have killed men before and women have committed violence before.

          • fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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            4 months ago

            Everything you’ve listed is an absurd over statement.

            often attack men over women, or their ego, or their fragile state of mind has been disrupted momentarily or whatever other trivial reason men feel justified attacking people.

            This is simply not the reality I live in. I’ve never known someone to attack someone over a woman, nor their fragile state of mind?

            Driving in my car = men are more likely to participate in road rage At work = men are more likely to commit violence at work than women At home = men are most likely to break and enter occupied homes In public = men are most likely to be the perpetrator of a public mass shooting public shooting.

            I’ve certainly never experienced any of this and while mass shootings and robberies do occur they’re so rare that being a victim of such a crime is not a tangible risk.

            Honestly you’re more likely tripping over your shoelace and dying than any of these things actually happening.

            • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              You are arguing crime isnt common, I’m arguing that WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN its done by men.

              Since this is a conversation about who commits violence most often, it doesnt make sense to appeal to the fact that most people rarely encounter violence.

              For the record, I agree, people shouldn’t be worried in general about this stuff. For those that are in situations where they are at risk, they should be careful around men, period.

              Are you arguing its stupid for a women to take preventative measures or protect themselves in all cases?

                • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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                  4 months ago

                  That seems to be mostly true for men at least. Not really for women. So far at my workplace, its the women that have had stalkers and unwanted physical advances, not the men.

            • barsoap@lemm.ee
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              4 months ago

              Honestly you’re more likely tripping over your shoelace

              Ladders. Ladders are the #1 killer. And stupid shit on top of that, like taking something down from a high shelf.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 months ago

          This is so fucking ignorant, it’s like you’ve never actually spoken to a woman before in your life (and no, the nice lady that delivers your chicken tenders doesn’t count).

          When men leave the house, the worst thing we walk around in fear of is ridicule and rejection. Women (rationally) fear for their personal safety. All of the time. You and I cannot even grasp what that must do to a person mentally.

          If you even suggest that this isn’t the case, go fuck yourself. I have nothing more to say to you. Some idiotic bullshit doesn’t need more of a platform on the internet than it already has, destroying the minds of young men.

          Edit: I fear for the women of this country given the responses I’ve gotten here. Gross.

          • fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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            4 months ago

            Sure mate.

            It’s patently absurd to suggest that all women fear for their personal safety “all of the time” when they leave the house.

            Sure, there’s a very few places in the world where that may be true, but it certainly is not generally true.

            I think your comment says more about you than it does about me.

          • sudneo@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            When men leave the house, the worst thing we walk around in fear of is ridicule and rejection.

            Do you live in a cartoon? Seriously, this is complete nonsense. I worry about my personal safety very often, when an environment presents certain risks (e.g., getting robbed, mugged etc.). It’s true that I don’t generally fear to be sexually assaulted by a woman, but to say that men don’t (need to) worry about their personal safety is completely absurd.

              • sudneo@lemm.ee
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                4 months ago

                Because robberies and mugging do not exist, because I should not worry about them or because they don’t happen to me as a man?

                • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  4 months ago

                  Because statistics are real, and you should learn how they affect you (or don’t) in practical ways.

                  I don’t know where you live, but if you’re in the US, unless you’re walking through shitty neighborhoods in the most violent areas in your state starting shit, or asking to get jumped, then it’s extremely unlikely that you will ever be mugged. Ever.

                  It is very easy to make yourself not a target while walking in urban areas. Just basic common sense shit like stop looking at your phone and stay alert. Don’t be a target, and people will leave you tf alone. It really is that simple for men.

                  I am not a big man. I live and work in a pretty shitty area, and not once have I ever felt in danger.

                  It must suck to be so terrified of everything all of the time.

                  • sudneo@lemm.ee
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                    4 months ago

                    All the crimes I have mentioned are statistically way more likely than sexual assaults, a crime that notoriously happens mostly within one’s home. So what you just said seems to me completely in antithesis with the original message.

                    Also, I completely disagree with your assessment. I live in a perfectly safe city and country, but when I travel I sometimes also go in worse areas, and most importantly I don’t even know whether I am in a “bad neighborhood” or not, because I don’t know the place. Hence I worry for my personal safety, which is exactly what prompts for those basic measures that you listed (and more), such as not flashing wealth unnecessarily. You do this exactly because you are aware that man or not you can be victim of such crimes just as much. In fact, statistics show that men are more likely to be victims of violent crimes in general, so I am not really sure where your core thesis come from.

                    Also worrying is not being terrified, is understanding a risk exists and taking precautions. Either way, this idea that as a man you have nothing to worry about is completely idiotic.

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        When the dynamic you’re alluding to is done right you have the (typically, not always) woman wanting to be chased as much as the man is chasing. It’s the rider saying “oooh, rollercoaster, you’re so intimidating and scary, toss me around” while the rollercoaster is saying “ooooh, you like curves and airtime don’t you I’ll hold you fast and secure”.