(This is a throwaway alt for my main lemmy account because I don’t want to doxx myself. I’m an ally, and my daughter is transfem, but I understand I am not. If I need to remove this post, please let me know.)
Hey all
Early this year I came out as enby. The day I came out, I decided to do something with my mid-back length long hair to feel more femme. As I combed it and actually looked in the mirror for the first time in years, I saw I had thinning hair, looked with an additional mirror/my phone, and sadly came to the realization I had the first few steps of male pattern baldness. I can still ‘hide’ it by combing my hair back, using a small-tooth comb, etc, but soon I won’t be able to hide it.
To my surprise this caused me a massive amount of dysphoria, and I realised that I had only ever been ‘clocked’ as feminine due to my hair, so I had made the connection between the two. I can’t use the hair foams because they are toxic to cats and I would rather die than hurt my cat. I tend to react negatively to a fair number of medicines so the pill options are pretty scary, particularly with ‘permanent E.D.’ being out there. My doctor said I was a good candidate for microneedling/hair transplants, but those are far, far too expensive for me.
My male friends just told me to buzz it off and be done with it. My female/enby friends told me to keep it long for now and go back to my hairdresser when it becomes harder to hide.
I wanted to reach out to my transfem sisters and siblings to see:
Do if any of you had any advice for someone who feels at least part feminine, but doesn’t know what to do to be more femme when shaved headed, or like when to shave their head, etc? Should I just work on my makeup/earring/accessory skills?
Thank you so much <3
Forgot to say I am from Canada if that helps any.
Oh, wow, so you’re already doing a large part of what I’ve been looking at, thank you so much for your experience and insight here :)
I am in Canada so I can likely get at least some of it through my MSP (‘free healthcare’), but I can’t do the topical medications as they are lethal to cats, and I’d literally rather die than hurt my cat.
I am not sure I can do dermarolling because I have eczema, and my skin tends to immediately freak out if I do anything like that. I do appreciate it though and will look more into it.
Have you considered microneedling? I saw a dermatologist who suggested I was a good candidate for it, but then he handed me his card where he does microneedling, which felt rather ‘convenient’.
Thanks again, I really do appreciate your response :)
You’re welcome! I remember the amount of distress my hairloss gave me and I’d rather no one else have to go through that.
I understand not wanting to go the topical route. I wouldn’t want to risk hurting a pet either.
I’ve thought about microneedling as I have some smile creases on my face that formed this summer (from what I read it should help with that), but I never thought about it for my scalp. I’ll have to see what’s available around me. From the little research I’ve done, it’s essentially the same as dermarolling, but even better since the needles only go straight in and out rather than go in at an angle, twist/rotate, then leave at an angle like the roller does.
If I go that route, I’ll try to keep you posted. It’s also nice to know that a dermatologist recommended it. To me, that gives it more credence.
Thank you, I really did not expect hair thinning to cause me to feel like I’m going to have a heart attack, yet here we are.
I see that doctor for a consultation on Dec. 17th, so if you’d like I can respond to this comment again after I see him. The issue for both microneedling (with stemcells, apparently?) and hair transplant is price. The microneedling is apparently much cheaper, but it’s 1000 per session, which is why I’m meeting him. I want to know the chances it actually works before I even consider 1000 on a single session.
Thanks again though, I appreciate your help <3