Was banned from !egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone for calling out a Mod’s misuse of the Egg prime directive to criticize trans people for helping out trans women in denial of their trans-ness. They’re denying the validity of signs of being transgender, what the actual fuck, this shit is not okay. Then after banning me that dipshit locks the post so no one else can reply on it. How is this not power-tripping?

Modlog history for my account: https://discuss.online/modlog?userId=11993717

  • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    28 days ago

    YDI, and it’s a 2 day ban, chill out.

    ‘Cis boys can’t play as girl characters or have long hair or dress feminine’ is a gender stereotype. There’s no reason cis boys can’t do that. Or trans boys for that matter.

    You mention in your comment that you could’ve transitioned earlier if someone just forced you to stop being in denial, but the thing is everyone isn’t you with the exact same needs as you had. There are feminine men out there who don’t need to be told that actually, they’re women and lying to themselves. Some of them may or may not wind up deciding to transition in some way. But that is something for them to decide, not for you to force on them because you have distressing feelings about when you started your own transition.

    Everyone needs support to explore their gender and gender expression, no matter what it is. If you’d had that you would have likely accepted your gender and transitioned sooner. It sucks that you didn’t have it (I didn’t either), but we can’t change that now. All you can do is try to make that environment for other people, and telling them that their gender must be this because of x, y, z reason isn’t a supportive environment for exploring gender.

    • Blazingtransfem98@discuss.onlineOP
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      27 days ago

      You mention in your comment that you could’ve transitioned earlier if someone just forced you to stop being in denial, but the thing is everyone isn’t you with the exact same needs as you had. There are feminine men out there who don’t need to be told that actually, they’re women and lying to themselves. Some of them may or may not wind up deciding to transition in some way. But that is something for them to decide, not for you to force on them because you have distressing feelings about when you started your own transition.

      For many people these behaviors are not something normal cis people would do, they think it’s normal something that every cis person does, even though it isn’t. I’m not saying to force anything onto them, I’m saying tell them about being trans, that it’s not exactly normal for people to do this stuff, they may think it is but come on, how many normal cis guys do you know who dress as, play as, and act like girls? I thought I knew some, but they ended up not being cis.

      Everyone needs support to explore their gender and gender expression, no matter what it is. If you’d had that you would have likely accepted your gender and transitioned sooner. It sucks that you didn’t have it (I didn’t either), but we can’t change that now. All you can do is try to make that environment for other people, and telling them that their gender must be this because of x, y, z reason isn’t a supportive environment for exploring gender.

      You don’t know the younger version of me, she was very stubborn and felt like she was a boy and it was totally normal to want to be a girl sometimes. I was stupid and arrogant and did not want to be trans, but being trans isn’t something you can choose, can’t just stop being trans, and I really paid for it later due to my much later transition. You could’ve talked to younger me about how trans is a thing and I would’ve said it didn’t apply to me. I wish someone would’ve given me that kick and said “Hey dipshit you’re trans, whether you like it or not” and countered all my dumbass excuses about being a boy and how it’s normal for boys to do this, because it isn’t and wasn’t.

      • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        27 days ago

        I’m not saying to force anything onto them, I’m saying tell them about being trans, that it’s not exactly normal for people to do this stuff

        Yes, that is the bad part. You shouldn’t be telling anyone that it’s not normal to express their gender however they’re expressing it. Even if you think it’s for their own good.

        If they literally do not know trans people exist or you’re correcting stereotypes about trans people that’s one thing, but if they do already know all that then… that’s it, you don’t need to do anymore. People need to take it at the pace they need to take it at, even if that pace isn’t the pace you’d have taken it at. (Assuming they are trans and not just gender nonconforming.)

        Looking back at your own behavior as a child or teen and seeing how it was an expression of you being trans is absolutely fine, and so is wishing it had gone differently. But you can’t project those wishes onto other people.

        • Blazingtransfem98@discuss.onlineOP
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          27 days ago

          But it isn’t exactly normal is it? I mean most boys don’t like to act and dress like girls, they don’t play as girls in games, grow long hair. For most people these would be considered signs of being the other gender or being NB.

          Also I get what you’re saying about people going their own pace but you have to understand that people waiting too long to figure out that they are trans can be detrimental to their chances of passing and therefore their mental health. Some people kill themselves because it feels hopeless when transitioning later and I know the feeling. It sucks that my voice will probably never pass without surgery. If I had broken the egg as early as possible and began transition then, I would perfectly pass right now, even if I’d waited until I was 18 I would’ve still been better off than I am now.

          • Scoopta@programming.dev
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            19 days ago

            I don’t see how playing girls in games means anything? I play girls in games because I’m straight and girls are cute and I like to look at cute things.

              • Scoopta@programming.dev
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                17 days ago

                I don’t want to be one…I like to look at them, there’s a reason I only play as girls in 3rd person games XD.

                • Blazingtransfem98@discuss.onlineOP
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                  17 days ago

                  There’s lots of reasons people might play girls in any games, question is are those the real reasons or are you in denial that you might actually want to be a girl deep down inside and not know it 😏

    • Blazingtransfem98@discuss.onlineOP
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      26 days ago

      Lies, I’m still banned even though it’s been 2 days:

      Question I’m asking is how did he make a permanent ban look like a temporary one in the log 🤔