We wanted kids, tried to have kids, but things never seemed to work out. So I went to see my doctor and they ran some tests. First test we found I had no sperm, so they did more tests, turns out I barely have any testosterone at all, but absolutely tons of estrogen. More tests, this time a genetic one. Turns out I have kleinfelter syndrome, which if caught early enough there are things that can be done. But at my age that boat has long since sailed.

It’s been an interesting couple of years. I started TRT injections at the beginning of the year. And my life has taken a complete 180, turns out you really need testosterone for alot of things. And your body reacts kinda funny without it.

Adoption seems our only choice, but she doesn’t want a kid if it’s not hers. So… Yea

As you seem curious about the opinion of others I suggest reading research literature on the topic as it is probably better structured than a list of anecdotes from complete strangers. That being said in here at least you can dig deeper by asking questions back.

Anyway there is a field called the science of happiness that aggregates research in psychology, cognitive science, behavior science, economy, political economy, etc on what makes most people happy. Within this there are papers on relationships, family and raising kids. I warmly suggest reading on the topic. Last time I did read on it, which was a bit more than 5 years ago, one could roughly summarize that raising children brings for most people higher highs and lower lows. If your kid brings you a beautiful drawing from school, no matter how “ugly” it might look, you will be so proud it will brighten your day. On the other hand if they break their leg while cycling, you will feel even worst that if you broke your own leg. So… on average people feel about as happy with and without kids BUT the way they feel can be more intense.

I warmly recommend https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/ and https://www.drlauriesantos.com/happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos-podcast to discover more on the topic. Specifically in your case https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/parenting_family

don’t. just don’t.

no kids, do not want kids. I can hear the feral beast within my soul howling for mortal progeny to raise, but you can actually just set that to mute. its really easy

No. No. No.

I do want kids. I’m getting up there in age though, and I’ve been single for a while. The man I thought I’d be having kids with turned out not to be the right one, and dating is hard now

I think I’ll be very sad if I end up without any kids, but I’m not willing to have them with just anyone.

I love my kids so much that it’s changed my whole life. They have given value to my life that didn’t exist before, they made me grow and it’s an incredible experience to watch them grow. They made me happy, worried, scared, bored, proud and angry like nothing else ever did.
I often envy my brother, who has all the money and time in the world to do whatever he wants, but I secretly pity him as well, because he lives like a grown-up, self-centerd child without true responsibilities and all his toys and holidays feel meaningless to me.
I couldn’t recommend this to anyone but it is a true magic happens outside the comfort zone-experience that will never go away.

I do not have kids.
I do not want kids.
I do not regret it.

To be fair, I get the perspective makes sense from a biological/evolutionary perspective. But if I had to understand intuitively or from how I feel, I don’t get why anyone would want kids.

🤔 i like the idea of kids, but i am worried that I’ll accidentally pass down all my traumas to them by trying hard to avoid it.

Also, i have voiced this before many times and i always get told “that just means you’ll be a great dad,” or “you know what not to do so it’ll be fiiiine.”

Idk. I can be convinced, for sure, but right now i think it’s not the best idea for me to have them.

No kids, no regrets, at 34. Life is already stressful enough with instability around housing and long-term career prospects (what with AI affecting jobs and such). With kids in the picture, I feel like that anxiety would just be ten times worse.

Have kids. I absolutely adore my kids and have no regrets, but also recognize that I’m in a relatively stable situation where having kids doesn’t create other unmanageable challenges for me and my wife. We carefully considered our capacity to have and raise kids. They were not all comfortable conversations. I am glad to have waited to have kids until I was in a good and stable place, and also can no longer imagine what it would have been like to not have these absolutely wonderful little monsters both spoiling and making every moment more magnificent.

Yep, 3. I like to explain things to people, now I get to be the smartest person in the room for a while. It’s great.

I got snipped in my 30s before having any kids. I have numerous physical and mental issues that I didn’t really care to pass down. Before I was married, I did date a couple women in my past who did have kids, so I’m not opposed to that side of it. At this point, in my mid 40s, adopting seems fairly unlikely.

I don’t worry about or miss anything specifically. We have plenty of nieces and nephews (and now some great- ones on my side since my younger stepsister and her son had kids quite young) that I can spoil.

I do somewhat worry about setting up proper care for us as we get older, particularly my wife who will almost certainly outlive me by a bigger margin, but having kids wouldn’t guarantee that or anything anyway, particularly with the ratrace that is the current Japanese job market and culture.

I have a kid. My wife wanted one but I didn’t, and I agreed because I didn’t want to lose her.

I love my kid, but to call it a huge lifestyle change is a monumental understatement. I’m happy with my life, but it could have gone the other way, and that wouldn’t have been fair to anyone. There are certainly a lot of things I miss from before, but I couldn’t go back now.

Don’t let anyone else convince you to have a kid, and don’t let anyone, including yourself, convince your spouse. This really needs to be something you want for yourself, or there is a good chance you’ll end up miserable and your child will grow up in a broken home.

If you can’t make to your mind before your age make it too risky for your comfort, then just understand that you have made a decision, and you’ll need to come to terms with that, should it come to pass.

I’m female. Hell. Fucking no. Pregnancy and childbirth sound awful and I have zero interest in babies, children, or taking care of something that might grow to hate me. Too much societal stereotypical expectation as the mom. I understand today parenting is a lot more fair and equal but I would still be giving up my body and time for feeding, among other things.

But I’ve genuinely had to ask myself if I was a male? Would I want kids… I think one of the biggest turn offs is literally the female pregnancy/birth part. If I didn’t have to carry and give birth to a child? Maybe?

I understand adoption would still be a thing but I still think as a female I’d carry responsibility that I don’t want.

I’ve never had a desire to be around kids or babies and the screaming and crying sets me off when I’m in the vicinity. Then the teenage mood swings? I can’t fathom.

Overall I’m a hard no.