Nothing because no one will be there to experience it. It’s kinda like the tree falling in the forest with no one around to witness it. Fade to black, this hermit bag of meat is gone.

I feel like the shame runs so deep that we won’t even talk about him anymore. Tbf, he was especially cringe.

A real human bean

Is that green to you?

Y’all talking up Bill Paxton’s ghost but, like, what about Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s ghost?! Dusty doesn’t deserve it!

Says the guy with the great dick-sucking lips…

Seriously though, did C&H people always have lips??

Nope, not at all. Come to think of it, I had a brand new LG smart dryer at an old apartment a few years ago, then moved in a house with a roommate who happened to buy the same smart dryer brand new for the house, and both were the exact same experience. I’m not even old enough to say this but they just don’t make em like they used to…

For all the folks saying to clean the dryer, clearly you never fucked with the LG dryers. They do this shit straight off bat.

One ticket to death by snu snu, please!

I’ve never felt like more of a pillow princess until reading that last sentence. Here I am waiting to be entertained while people like you actually take action. Good on ya.

Now back to my previously scheduled lurk…

Mario Mario got dumps of absolute steel! I bet I could do squats all day for a month and still not have half that level of cake.

“Cracker crust” is a fantastic phrase, and also yes!

TWO tortillas!? In one burrito!??! This is forward thinking…

As a native Chicagoan, do yourselves the favor of having tavern pizza instead of deep dish/stuffed pizza. Tavern pies are the real Chicago pizzas. Personally Beggars is my go-to.

And if you really must have this nasty slop of a pizza, try Pequods.

For me, I tend to overstuff my burrito innards. As a result, I’m not able to fold in the ends over the heaping pile of innards so this tape would actually help me get that coveted wrap action without making me address my lack of self control.

This reminded me of hell in the Constantine movie with Keanu Reeves, which happens to be my favorite depiction of hell.

Is it weird to have a favorite hell?!

I learned a new word today, thanks!

deleted by creator

It blows my mind that the whole antihistamine market is just a bunch of decongestants. WHERE DO MY ITCHES GO!?

- Baberham Lincoln, 37 AD

Credit your quotes, DogPeePoo