I suspected the translation on this was relatively poor, but wasn’t sure. It wasn’t obvious Engrish, so it wasn’t self-evidently poor, and there’s some vague and complex mysteries going on here, so some lack of clarity is to be expected, but it just seemed that there wasn’t enough sense to what was being said and I was having to invest too much effort into figuring out what was happening.

This version is much better. We still only get hints and implications and things only half-said, but it’s much easier to see how they all fit together, so I have to assume that this is more accurate.