“Xeepzorp, it’s not that complicated. The thumb-up is like crossing your eyestalks, and the middle-finger is like extruding your rectal tentacle.”
Ah yes the ass dick
Aliens with a literal dick-butt? The Internet would love them!
God I never understood that. And I was the perfect age for it.
The universe is a big place. Dick-butt aliens are pretty much a given.
Wait until they learn that the thumbs-up in some countries means what the middle finger does in the US…
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the Czech Republic, where apparently holding up a single index finger means 2.
Not a Czech but now that you mentioned it I want this here too!
I mean have you tried counting from either end using all your fingers i.e. thumb == 1? That dexterous shit is hard so making a single index finger two instantly makes it nice and smooth!
(Instant edit: this obviously only holds if index finger+ middle finger counts as 3, otherwise there really only seems to be an advantage in calling out 2 and my argument collapses)
How do you count 1 then?
I do have some experience with the Czech Republic and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the case.
I was only there a month. I can’t claim to be any kind of expert. But I do know I wound up eating two sausages.
Sausages are often sold as a pair there, just like socks - you won’t get just one :) Even the czech word párek (sausage) means also “a pair”.
Fascinating. Didn’t know that!
It’s not that complicated, aliens
The middle finger gesture was used in ancient times as a symbol of sexual intercourse, in a manner meant to degrade, intimidate and threaten the individual receiving the gesture. It also represented the phallus, with the fingers next to the middle finger representing testicles
It’s a classic human cock-and-balls, simple as
Ah yes signs and symbols. Surely no alien ever has heard of those.
Humans vibrate the air in different and complicated ways. One vibration pattern humans like, another vibration pattern they don’t like. sure this “speech” thing is really complicated. also symbols squibbled on surfaces. language, am I right?
Instead of just using brain-to-brain radio waves like any civilized species would. Pathetic.
What are you? Some sort stelliferous era primitive? We of the degenerate/blackhole era use quantum entanglement for daily communication.
This made me realize that if we encounter aliens there is a non-zero chance there will be alien weebs that become obsessed with our culture and think it is superior.
That’s how we beat the Zentradi.
The Zentradi thought swimsuits were armor, they don’t exactly have a track record for brilliant decision making
Seems like any aliens advanced enough to study us would very easily figure out that hand gestures are a form of communication.
The exam is explaining the difference between split index and middle finger palm forward and split index and middle finger back hand forward.
So I was going to make a joke about the peace and v signs by using the “peace be with you; and also with you” thing but have it say “Peace be with you. And also ‘fuck you’”. But then I was thinking, what if I said “up yours” instead because it’s a more direct reference and less offensive. But then I realized it doesn’t match anywhere near as well in syllables/sound.
So, long story short, my question is which one would be funnier/more appealing? Seriously, I genuinely want to hear opinions
Peace be with you. And also “thank you”
“Why are you giving yourself the bird?”
Fun fact: cats sometimes respond similarly to humans when presented with the middle finger. Without training. And often it with cats that do hate it, it’s that finger specifically and only that specific gesture.
I still have absolutely no idea why, but some cats just naturally react as if it’s an offense towards them. Maybe they equate it to a tail raised straight?
My dog pisses on other dog’s piss as a show of dominance. We’re all weird.
At least that makes sense and has a logical reason
Let’s see how harmless it is when I jam it in your compound eye Mr. Kleezorp
Shit’s regional, too, yo. For “fuck you”, the brits use a gesture that’s more akin to “eat my cunt”.
We do? Can you describe the gesture? Maybe it’s so ingrained I don’t even recognise it. Or I need to learn it. Then I can use it at everyone today.
I believe theyre referring to the usual two-finger-fuck-you. As in v for victory.
If you take that same sign and press it to your lips you get a gesture recognised as “eating pussy” when accompanied by some tongue action through the V of your fingers.
Ah, I see. We don’t tend to put it to the mouth. It’s more “fuck you”. Apparently comes from demonstrating to the French that you still have your bow-drawing fingers and intend to use them. British archers captured by the french would have their first two fingers removed to prevent them launching arrows.
A commonly repeated legend claims that the two-fingered salute or V sign derives from a gesture made by longbowmen fighting in the English army at the Battle of Agincourt (1415) during the Hundred Years’ War, but no written historical primary sources support this contention.
Turns out we don’t actually know the origin of flicking the V
The human race is often thought of as communicating primarily on a vocal basis. however, they also possess an extremely complex and sophisticated language based on gestures. For example, the simple gesture of raising the index and middle finger with the palm inwards can convey the complete sentence: “up yours Frenchie, I still have all my fingers”
“The gesture is an invitation for the adversary to put their middle finger in their own excreting orifice”
“Wow it must be painful for them!”
“They seem to have rather pleasant experience instead”
“Interesting…”“We must facilitate this experience for them as a sign of good faith.”
And some humans don’t mind the middle finger at all and even react to it with bemusement!
But some humans think the ok gesture is as bad as or worse than the middle finger.
Others are offended by the index and middle finger being extended in a V shape with the palm facing inward…but never when it’s facing outward!
“You see, in france, the archers were getting their middle fingers cut off … and that’s why it’s offensive.”
“Is all that true?”
“Yes, the history is well documented. Billy from home room told Jessie in gym class…”
