My parents do this all the time. “Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful.” So apparently my aunt died. “Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn’t interest you”.
At the same time, they call me to tell me “So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he’s in a bad state. We though you’d want to know.” So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.
Oh, everything’s fine now, …
I wish. Nope, nothing like my family.
… but two weeks ago she was murdered.
Nevermind, this checks out.
Mom didn’t tell me she got married and was pregnant while I was in college. I talked to her almost daily then…
Yea I found out from my server at a restaurant that my cousin killed himself. She was his friend. It had been months since it happened and no one told me that he passed, even though I saw my family recently. Fucked up.
People get really weird about suicide. Almost like they think talking about it will incentivize others to kill themselves.
Apparently it actually can, which is why news reports are careful about it and it shouldn’t happen in TV soaps or fictional dramas often
there is a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion” or “copycat suicide,” where exposure to suicide can lead to an increase in suicide rates.
Typically this occurs with media, like when a celebrity is in the news for suicide, but I believe there is still a relationship in just talking about it, especially in younger folks.I’m not saying there’s nothing to that but it seems to me that if the mere mention of suicide in just about any context is enough to send you over the edge then you were pretty close to falling off already. I find it difficult to attribute much to something like that.
Exactly. It doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts, it just reminds some that it’s an answer to their thoughts. The solution is reducing the stigma so that people can talk about them freely instead of bottling them up until they reach that point.
Yea I think my parents and uncle’s side are just old school and don’t like to talk about tough subjects.
Here’s my sister giving me some serious news about a family member.
Yes
I’m dead. How is anyone this bad at delivering crucial information?
Maybe she was the one having a stroke lol
They both had a stroke.
Kill the other Paul. There! No more confusion
- King Solomon
I can feel the frustration through the image. Hope Paul’s doing ok, once you figure out which one.
He’s doing better now, thanks!
But my dear sister is still the same, unfortunately.
I am experiencing the same frustration while you reply but still haven’t told us which Paul
It’s obvious from this exchange:
WHICH PAUL U FUCK
Mom’s brother???
Or Jeanie’s husband???
Yes
The sister (grey) was clearly responding to “Mom’s brother???”, but just as she hit “send”, teal asked “Or Jeanie’s husband???”.
People who give both options in an obvious one-or-the-other question deserve to receive “Yes” as a response.
Also, what is “Jsuk”?
Yes.
Omg, thank you for sharing.
I hope my pain brought people joy.
That’s a hilarious exchange 🤣
I was about to go over there and give her a medical emergency.
I’m definitely telling my brother I’ll hit him with my car next time he’s difficult
Wield it like a baseball bat. That’ll teach him!
You shouldn’t ask both sides of a yes-or-no question. Especially to a moron.
It wasn’t even a yes-or-no question!!!
“Was it this guy? Or the other guy?” = “Yes”
That’s two separate yes-or-no questions.
“Was it this guy?”
“Ye-”
“Or the other guy?”
“Yes.”
All she had to do was specify between the two. She did not. I had to get the info from someone else.
But then again, I’m probably the fool for assuming her common sense is at least baseline.
It was Paul!
Y’all testin’ me.
My dad
“Well your grandmother is out of the hospital”
She was in the hospital???
“Yup, the funeral is next week.”
Damn, who’s going to call me my grandpa’s name and let me smash now? 😭
“Son I’m going in for cancer surgery tomorrow. Everything will be fine… take care of your father, you know he’s basically useless on his own.”
Literally 2 days ago. Don’t worry, she’s fine.
Mom did this to me also. On the same day of her radical mastectomy. I had no idea she had breast cancer.
The surgery went ok at least.
Probably didn’t know how to tell you she might die. They really don’t give you much advice on how to talk to people… in my case it was literally a grade school style fill-in-the-blanks in-case-surgery-leaves-you-a-vegetable tell them we can have your organs work-book.
But also likely a bit of narcissism… I’m sorry. Nobody she find out that way.
Cancer charities such as McMillan’s will tell you. Obviously the hospitals went and even if they did they’d probably charge you for the service.
Assuming went=wont… I’m still not following. Cancer charaties will tell you what?
They have guidance on how to talk to people about it. The hospital may or may not have counselors on staff but if they don’t you can always talk to the charities
Ah! I gotcha. Thanks for clarifying :-)
It’s because they post everything on Facebook and I don’t go on Facebook.
My dad on 2 separate and unrelated occasions.
Him. Almost recovered from my surgery
Me. Wtf what surgery.
Him. I put it on Facebook
I found out my mother had HEART SURGERY two weeks ago when my sister sent a weird “she’s out of the operating room and I recovery” message, I thought she meant her mother in law and was informing my parents on the family group text, since my parents know her a lot better than I do.
Nope. It was my own mother, and nobody told me about a surgery they all knew about 6 months in advance.
Jesus, I’d be so upset, but I guess also relieved. Why is this so common?!
Honestly I have no idea.
And its not just my immediate family either.
When my grandfather died, nobody in my family had been told he was having anything done until that morning, so we scrambled to visit him. There wasn’t any huge problem, but any time someone in their 70s is in the hospital, especially for a surgery, it’s cause for concern.
And its a good thing we did because he bled out during the surgery, which was supposed to be a minor surgery in his lower abdomen.
idk i’m this way. Although that’s mostly because i hate socializing and interacting. You probably won’t know when i die until 4 months pass and you realize on a whim that you havent seen me in an awfully long time, only to find that i don’t respond.
Such is life i suppose. (for some people at least)
That makes me wonder if lemmy has a death notice community like reddit’s r/deadredditors
maybe, though for me it’s not unusual to just disappear for a long period of time. I think i would probably set something up to monitor my existence and report my behavior to family members, since i know i wouldn’t lmao.
Facebook brain damage
My Mother recently went on a trip. During fathers day I’m talking to my Grandma and she asks if I was told that my mom fell on the escalator and hurt her hip. Not bad, just sore. I say no and my grandma seems really surprised that I was not told this. Later that same day I’m talking to my mom and she asks if anyone told me that my grandma broke a rib last week. No, grandma never mentioned this! Apparently I can only get my family’s health updates second hand.
Your fifth cousin twice removed just phoned up and said she was in a nasty car accident a couple of days ago – I just thought you should know.
“The family has COVID”
“Oh, okay”
2 days later
Sister sends me a screenshot of a Facebook post in which my mother’s in the hospitalBecause if there’s anywhere you should share your private medical issues, it’s on a for-profit website that tracks and sells literally everything you do online, and won’t even show it to the people who you wanted to share it with.
Facebook Nowadays: “Oh, you want to see what your friends are up to? Too fucking bad. Here’s a thousand pictures of Sylvester Stalone, and 900 ads.”
I was studying abroad so I came home after a year found out my father had a stroke and no one told me.
My sister causally told me couple weeks back that my uncle died 6 months ago.
My sister, didn’t visit for a few years then told family she was going to visit for Christmas, okay. She arrives with unexpected company, her boyfriend, she says. Family never heard about him. 1 month later she visits and goes, oh yeah, “I am expecting in 5 months”. 2 months later she goes, oh yeah “I got married last week”.
She doesn’t understand why dad was so upset…
He should just call her every once in a while…
What are you crazy?
My family communicated exclusively through a Facebook Messenger group chat and my sister keeps posting pictures of her daughter so all the important stuff goes way up in the history. I don’t even have Facebook Messenger on my phone. I rarely if ever check the messages because I’ve removed Facebook from my life.
I got my family off messenger for family chat, onto signal.
My partner never had Facebook, so I got lots of messages “tell Sam blah blah”
I told them via group sms, “hey guys, I deleted Facebook, so if you want us it’s phone, SMS, or signal”
So now when they want to tell Sam something, they can @ Sam
Yeah forget it. My family won’t budge unfortunately. Apparently, I’m the one who’s problematic.
I know people that still send me messages on Facebook even though I’ve told them that I don’t have the messenger, will never have the messenger, don’t have the Facebook app, will never have the app, and can’t check the website messages from my mobile browser. I visit Facebook on a desktop like once every 3 months. So, I have no clue why they still send me messages there. Have fun waiting for a response, my guy.
I deleted Facebook and gave everyone I knew who had ever messaged me my signal id and told them that was it, the only way to get in touch
I just hate how they guilt trip me afterwards for not being at a family event because I missed a message that was sent two weeks ago sandwiched between 40 pictures of my niece.
bro if anyone should be guilt tripping it’s me because i wasn’t informed wtf
