• Ranvier@sopuli.xyz
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    3 months ago

    “Google, nobody called from Google. One of the things like doing a show like yours, your show, you know, you see it on Fox, but when you really see it is all over the place, they take clips of your show that you’re doing right now with me and if I do a good job, they’re gonna vote for me, they’re gonna vote for me because it’s not just on Fox, it’s on Fox is a smaller part of it. You’re on all over this, those little beautiful cell phones you’re on, you’re all over the place. You have a product, you have a great product. You have a great brand. So you have to get out, you have to get out, you have to do things like your show and other shows and Google has been very bad. They’ve been very irresponsible and I have a feeling that Google is gonna be close to shut down”

    Can anyone help? I don’t have a senile narcissist to English translator!

    • baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ll take a stab at it.

      I do these shows and everyone wants to see it. It goes viral and everyone looks it up on Google to watch on their phones. But Google is doing something to block it, so if I win I’m going to shut them down.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Ok, it’s scary how easily you seemed to have done that. I kept getting caught up in the beautiful devices and couldn’t figure it out.

        Hats off to you, friend.

        • baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          For donny you have to analyze like non native speaker or child. Who, what, where, when, and why. Also everything is either positive/negative for him.

          He mentions Google, it’s bad.

          Him doing interviews on shows, good, the best.

          Fox, good show

          people on phones; good tech

          trying to watch him, good. obvious see above

          Google close down; veiled threat. Constantly does this, mob talk. “It would be a shame if something happened to your establishment.” He also did it when he called Georgia secretary of state to find him more votes. He brought up his daughter, beautiful daughter. You want to do the right thing for her.

            • frunch@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              Coulda woulda shoulda. Now we get to see if he’s gonna be president for 4 more years 🫠 wtf is this ridiculous timeline

      • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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        3 months ago

        Oh.

        He’s threatening to use the government to harm them unless they feed his ego/help his campaign.

        I guess he’s been spoiled by Twitter and Truth Social fawning over him and wants that from everywhere.

    • Blackout@kbin.run
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      3 months ago

      All I could find was a jabba the hutt translator:

      “Google, nobody called tuta google. Wompa of doe things like doing do show like yours, do show, u know, u stuka it on fox, but whao u really stuka it sa all over doe pa, they take clips of do show da u’re doing right ateema gee je um if mee do do good job, they’re gonna vote che je, they’re gonna vote che je because soong nopa just on fox, soong on fox sa do smaller part of it. U’re on all over this, those little beautiful cell phones u’re on, u’re all over doe pa. U have do product, u have do grancha product. U have do grancha brand. So u have tah pushee, u have tah pushee, u have tah do things like do show um other shows um google has been ree goola. They’ve been ree irresponsible um mee have do feeling da google sa gonna be close tah shut down”

    • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Google isn’t kissing my ass and making me look good by constantly placing only the good things about me at the top of search results and videos.

      So Google sucks and I’m going to shut them down.

    • ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com
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      3 months ago

      “I want all the attention. I want everyone to have to look at me all the time on their phones. Give me that attention. Gimme! Gimme! Attention is like a McDonald’s burger with fries. I want all the attention. Google, make that happen, make people watch me on their phones. Or I’m going to shut you down.”

    • ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I know he’s always been prone to kind of incoherent rambling, and quotes straight from his rallies are usually stream-of-consciousness walls of text like this. But it really seems like it’s getting worse over time. Not sure if it’s senility or drug addiction or stress or whatever else, but Trump really seems to be unraveling.

        • tortina_original@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Not in the news. But I am not American, I don’t watch what Trump has to say (or rather, I barely watch news for years).

          Years ago I used to hear him talk while he was president and it was really cringe but this transcript from the first reply just seems a bit surreal. Insane, rather.

          Edit: I was curious enough to go visit the article URL and take a look at the video but there doesn’t seem to be a video of the Fox clip they write about (or ublock/etc hide it). Maybe it’s for the best… 😁

          • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            It’s for the best. Listening to him makes you lose iq points. If he talks about anything you know about it is also likely to make you angry.

          • TheBananaKing@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            His speeches caused serious headaches for translators the world over. How exactly do you translate his incoherent ramblings into another language?

      • Ranvier@sopuli.xyz
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        3 months ago

        Yes this is the direct quote the article refers to. He rambles nonsense, often self contradicting, and then people in the media try to fashion it into coherent points for him, leading to a fake impression of competency, misleading the public and voters. This is the man who had to have his national security briefings summarized into a few brief bullet points with pictures, and he was apparently still unable to read them.

        • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          He also charted a hurricane with a sharpie! Usually we ask the children not to draw on the adults things but alas…

    • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      Even ChatGPT is confused

      The text seems to convey a few disjointed points:

      1. No Call from Google: It starts by mentioning that no one called from Google, but this point is unclear and not elaborated on.

      2. Importance of Media Exposure: The speaker emphasizes that doing shows like the one being discussed is important because these shows are widely seen, not just on Fox but everywhere through clips shared on cell phones and other platforms.

      3. Effect on Voting: The speaker believes that a good performance on the show will positively influence people to vote for them.

      4. Reach of the Show: The speaker highlights that the show is not limited to Fox but is widely distributed and accessible, thus amplifying its impact.

      5. Praise for the Show: The speaker compliments the show’s product and brand, suggesting it has great reach and quality.

      6. Need for Exposure: There’s an emphasis on the need to be active and appear on various shows to maximize exposure.

      7. Criticism of Google: The speaker criticizes Google for being irresponsible and suggests that the company might be close to shutting down, although this point is vague and unsubstantiated.

      Overall, the rant is an unfocused mix of praising media exposure, expressing a belief in the power of TV appearances to influence voters, and criticizing Google.

      To make things worse, I also asked it to Yodaify it

      Called from Google, nobody did. Doing a show like yours, yes, on Fox you see it. But everywhere, really, it is. Clips of your show they take, with me right now, doing it you are. Do a good job, I must, for vote for me, they will. On Fox alone, it is not, smaller part Fox is. All over this, you are. On those little beautiful cell phones, you are. A great product, you have. A great brand, you have. Out you must get, out you must get. Things like your show, and other shows, do you must. Very bad Google has been, very irresponsible. Close to shutting down, Google is, a feeling I have.

      • frezik@midwest.social
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        3 months ago

        LOL at “a few disjointed points”. Whatever else you might say about ChatGPT, its output is extraordinarily polite. Saying “a few disjointed points” is practically the equivalent of “what the fuck is this drivel you fed me?”

      • captainWhatsHisName@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Yeah ChatGPT didn’t seem to realize he’s praising/condemning google not Fox. He’s attempting to get google to roll over and lie for him like Facebook does

    • Sabata
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      3 months ago

      Old man yells at cloud for not paying protection money.

    • JonEFive@midwest.social
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      3 months ago

      It never ceases to amaze me how they mock Joe for speaking gibberish but then this seems to make complete sense to them.

    • PoopDelivery@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I kinda thought he was saying Google, probably meaning YouTube, shows Fox content and people aren’t tuning in on the TV anymore, and his dumb ass thinks Fox is losing money and viewers.

      There is no way he’d destroy Google with all that yummy data he could gobble up and share with his shitbag acquaintances.

      • Ranvier@sopuli.xyz
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        3 months ago

        Trying to decipher his words is like dementia astrology, who knows. If he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, we surely can’t either.

  • breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Ahh, he’s rattling the CEOs who haven’t paid fealty yet.

    What is Racketeering, again?

    • dhork@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Haven’t you been paying attention? The SCOTUS says bribes are legal if they are called “gratuities”. No wonder Trump wants to exempt tips from taxes, it’s how he intends to get paid by his main clients, Russia and Saudi Arabia.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      In the case of Google, not only have they not paid tribute, they vowed to actively suppress Trump/Republicans after the 2016 elections.

  • AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip
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    3 months ago

    GOOGLE IS A TRILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION

    Trump is so fucking stupid he doesnt even know how his party is supposed to work.

    There are no leftist corporations.

    • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      If anything, Google helps the right with their YouTube algorithm that has to be one of the fastest to right-wing radicalization available. You can open up a recipe video on YouTube and a couple of videos later they’ll have you on liberals are making the frogs gay style content.

      • AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip
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        3 months ago

        What if i told you that any group, organization or business that places profits and advertising revenue above objective truth and a quality product is, by default, always going to be right-wing aligned?

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        3 months ago

        It is pretty stupid. My YouTube searches are DIY home repair, how to play guitar, and fountain pen calligraphy ink/font.

        “How about some Jordan Peterson!”

        • Final Remix@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          It’s the DIY stuff. You’re like a hairsbreadth away from homesteading, survivalist stuff, then prepper stuff, aaaand finally nutjob stuff.

          • ArtVandelay@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            It’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. " how many categorical degrees of separation are your YouTube channels from wacko right wing nut job shit?"

      • lagomorphlecture@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Yes but if he threatens them enough maybe they’ll fix their algorithm so it isn’t serving right wing garbage on a silver platter. I can dream.

      • Persen@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I doubt they care. They just give you the most outrageous shit they can, since it makes most people interract with it.

    • HonorableScythe@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      That’s the thing. He doesn’t care about how his party is supposed to work, or what the party line is. His political stances are entirely based on his feelings and whims. Whoever has most recently slighted or inconvenienced him is enemy number one, only to be replaced tomorrow when some other matter irks him.

  • DaddleDew@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Google, like the other big tech companies, absolutely need to be broken up with antitrust. Not destroyed, just broken up to force the resulting smaller companies to be more competitive instead of relying on their size and market domination to exploit everyone from their consumers to their employees. Everyone would benefit from that including investors who would see more growth.

    But Trump doesn’t say that because their monopolistic position allows them to pull increasingly anticonsumer practices. He just wants to raze it to the ground because they don’t block search results that hurt his endlessly fragile ego.

    • Railing5132@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      See, I think some advisor said “we gotta say something about this DoJ antitrust thing with Google and take credit for it.” And Dementia Don the 34-time convicted felon who can’t be assed to pay attention to anything that isn’t attached to his daughter’s chest, heard: “Google wants justice” (or something; I can’t get my head that far up my own ass to see things from his PoV)

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    3 months ago

    LOL

    “stop showing results that don’t say i’m awesome!!!”

    i almost said “what a goddamn child,” but that’s way too insulting to actual children. at least children have a legit excuse for acting like themselves

  • Random Dent@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    In the rant, slammed by the Harris campaign as “unintelligible,”

    Okay, that part got me.

    • blattrules@lemmy.world
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      They must have just needed to quote someone as saying it because it would seem like editorializing if they described it as “unintelligible,” even though it was.

  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    How would that even work?

    Destroy the Google HQ, data centers, and assassinate it’s leadership?

    I mean he could maybe direct a Republican Congress to legislatively fine and tax Alphabet into the ground, but there are definitely a large number of Congress that have money in Alphabet.

    He can’t even come up with coherent rants, how could he come up with a way to fight someone as big as Alphabet.

    • AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip
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      3 months ago

      i just don’t understand why

      We hate google for being a giant, evil corporation that bribes republicans to vote against things like net neutrality or privacy rights

      Why would a republican go after google? theyre on the same side

    • kautau@lemmy.world
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      Also, he, nor anybody else who would pursue something this dumb realize how many things run on google’s cloud, middleware, SaaS products, etc. His middle schooler mind thinks “google = google.com search,” when Alphabet’s business is so much bigger than that.

    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Alphabet is largely guided by the intelligence community.

      This is consistent with Trump attacking the CIA and the deep state.

    • APassenger@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      It’s been found to be a monopoly. I’m sure they’ll appeal, but we may find out what it looks like in our own lifetimes.

    • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Tech bros are, on the whole, truly disgusting people. For example, tech bros are almost entirely responsible for the continued fiscal solvency of San Francisco. With the rise of work from home, San Francisco threatens to be plunged into a financial pit that in the worst case would cause a Detroit-style collapse. And yet the overwhelming feeling among locals is “eh, worth it to get rid of the tech bros”.

  • Jackcooper@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Okay now can trump and Kamala try to one up each other on how hard they’ll dismantle Ticketmaster?

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    3 months ago

    Lol, Dementia Don the racist rapist with 34 felonies want’s to start a fight with GOOGLE!?!?!?! He needs to have his mental capacity tested. This is a whole new level of stupid. I hope he triples down on it and they fucking bury him.

  • Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    I give it less than a week before Google donates a sizeable amount to one of his PACs and Donnie does a complete 180 on this.